


Taken

by blowmeharry, captainhoran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bullying, M/M, Non Consensual, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blowmeharry/pseuds/blowmeharry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhoran/pseuds/captainhoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh, look here comes the fairy…”

Louis rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the black-haired boy standing behind him. Ever since he’d come out, everyone had been giving him a hard time, Zayn being one of the most bothersome. It wasn’t as if he  _asked_ for this. He didn’t even want to come out in the first place. It happened about a week ago and it was all because of Harry Styles.

“I bet you like guys, don’t you?” Harry teased him. “I bet you enjoy dicks up your arse.” Louis had always been taunted for the way he acted and dressed. It was only natural that people had arrived at the assumption that he was gay.

“You know what? Maybe I do,” Louis finally stood up for himself.

“Wait, for real? Gross!”

There was a look of disgust on the other boy’s face, followed by laughter. Louis couldn’t force the look of hurt on his face and a sort of blank look took over Harry’s features. Amazingly, he apologized for being so rude to him, much to Louis’s surprise. He hadn’t expected him to react in this manner, and in a way, it was almost reassuring.

Despite the fact that Harry hadn’t kept his secret, Louis couldn’t get Harry out of his head. 

That was only last week. Every day since, Louis had attempted to talk to him every day, whether it was a sly comment or just a small hello. And Harry had responded every time. With the way everything was going, Louis was almost confident that he had a chance, but he could never act upon it.

PE had ended, and Louis hastily changed trying to ignore the routine taunting.

“We’d better start changing in the showers, wouldn’t want to give him any opportunities,” Zayn murmured, circling around the boy. Louis silently groaned, pushing his way past him and headed out the door.

Fortunately for him, his locker was nearby and he could escape the teasing faster. From the distance, he could see Harry leaning against his locker, as if waiting for him. His heart stammered in his chest as he was filled with confidence. The rush of adrenaline quickly diminished when he saw two others beside him. Niall Horan and Liam Payne, public enemy numbers two and three, after Zayn, of course.

It wasn’t like Louis was expecting them to be nice to him since Harry was around, but he certainly didn’t foresee them being so rude.

Niall ran a hand through his blonde hair as he smirked and whispered loudly into Harry’s ear, “Don’t get too close to him, we wouldn’t want him to get too attached.”

And what happened next was a complete surprise. Harry laughed. No, he didn’t just laugh, he fucking  _snickered_. Louis could handle a lot of things, but Harry acting like this was torture.

“I already am,” Louis pointed out, his voice coming out a bit more shaky than he wanted.

“And just who could that be? Some other fag?” Niall scoffed, crossing his arms.

“No,” Louis smiled, “Harry.”

Harry’s face went blank, that same expression he wore when Louis had come out to him. The laugh was predictable but Louis did not anticipate being shoved into the lockers.

“That’s funny,” Harry said with a chuckle, then turned to Niall, “Do ya hear that? The queer wants in my pants.” He pushed Louis further into the locker, and Louis groaned, trying to drown out their laughs. “Well, isn’t that cute.” 

Harry finally released him and retreated to retrieve some books from his locker once Niall and Liam had left.

Louis stood frozen, unsure of what to do or say. He was beyond confused. He never wanted to tell Harry this way, and he sure as hell didn’t want him to react so badly. But it had happened, and there was no changing that.

“Oh, fuck, you were serious?” Harry let out an exasperated groan when his eyes met with Louis’. Then Louis was pushed up against the lockers again. 

Unlike the pleasant voice Louis had grown used to, this Harry was different; threatening. “Listen and listen fucking well. You have no right to embarrass me in front of my friends. You wanna get laid? Try getting some pussy, faggot, and leave me the fuck alone.”

At this point, Louis was dying inside. These words, that never bothered him much before, were now eating away his insides and Harry was watching with amusement. He brushed away the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes and managed to get out, “Why do you have to be such a jerk?”

Harry continued to laugh at him, smirking as well. “That’s some brave talk coming from you. You’re not even a man!” Tears made their way down Louis’ face and he wanted to wipe them away, to show Harry that he wasn’t weak, but his control was failing him. “Now leave before I make you.”

Louis didn’t move, and when he felt Harry’s fist slam into his stomach, he instantly regretted not running away when he had the chance.

“Get to class,” Harry demanded, a sly grin on his face. “Wouldn’t want your teachers thinking you ditched class to get sucked off, you fucking fag.”

Louis scoffed, crossing his arms. “You speak from experience.”

Harry’s expression dropped. “You’re calling me gay?”

“Never said that,” he denied with a shrug.

Harry grabbed him by the collar, slamming him against the lockers yet again, Louis’ back now starting to hurt. “Say it again, Tomlinson, I fucking dare you.” Harry’s grasp tightened, and now he was practically choking the other boy.

“You’re…” Louis coughed, trying to breathe, “gay.”

Louis didn’t have a chance to see Harry’s face before he was seeing stars as Harry’s fist made contact with his face, and he was groaning in pain, praying silently that this wouldn’t leave a bruise. He tried desperately not to cry, not wanting to show Harry that he’d broken him.

“Oh, my bad. I forgot fags can’t defend themselves.”

“Fuck you, Harry,” the words exploded out of Louis.

“What was that?”

Louis pushed Harry away from himself, shouting in his face, “Fuck you, Harry Styles!”

And as he ran off, he could hear Harry mumbling from the distance, “Never in a million years.”

Louis ran to the bathroom after that, looking over his face in the mirror. There was a bruise under his left eye, but luckily, no blood. He mentally swore at himself, knowing his mum would want to know what happened to him. She supported him in every way, and so she knew that he came out last week. She was sure to suspect that someone had done this to him, so there was no way around it.

The rest of the day flew by, but Louis wasn’t going to lie and say he wasn’t afraid, because he was scared shitless. His eyes would waver the halls for any sign of the curly-haired lad, and when the coast was clear, he would hurry to his next class with a sense of relief.

Unfortunately, Louis wasn’t able to hide forever. His mood had improved by the end of the school day only to be ruined. Louis knew better, he had expected Harry to bother him again.

He heard laughter behind him, and then he watched as his materials violently ripped out of his arms and to the ground. Louis groaned and when he bent over to pick them up, he felt a hand on his arse, and immediately bounced back up, Harry’s laughing increasing.

“He liked that,” Harry said between laughs, and Louis turned to see Niall and Liam walking past him, out the door. Now they were alone. The minute they made eye contact, Harry’s threatening look resurfaced and he crossed his arms. “Defend yourself, I dare you.”

“Go away.” Louis bent over once again, attempting to pick up his things. He had managed to pick up his history book, then Harry pushed him down. He fell forward, his knees making an impact with the ground.

“I said, defend yourself.”

Louis looked back at him, breathing heavily. “And I said, go away.”

“Not until I get my revenge. Nobody embarrasses me and gets away with it.” Harry moved to sit next to Louis on the ground. Louis’ heart was racing and for the first time that day, he didn’t know what to expect from him.

“Please leave me alone,” Louis begged, trying to sound as sincere as possible. ”I don’t understand how  _I_  embarrassed  _you._ ”

Harry moved closer, pressing his hand to Louis’ chest, causing his heartbeat to increase. At first Louis thought it was due to fear, then came the crashing realization that he was still attracted to his tormentor.

Harry pressed himself to Louis, and he felt a weird sensation overcome him. And it wasn’t until a moment later that Harry had backed away and spotted the bulge in Louis’ pants that Louis’ face turned the brightest shade of pink, and the laughter coming from Harry was undeniably embarrassing and just horrible.

“That’s fucking hilarious,” Harry shook his head, chuckling.

Louis picked himself off the ground and ran, as fast as he could. He pulled out his phone, searching through his contact list, nearly tripping himself in the process. 

 _“Hello?”_  A voice drawled from the other line.

As hot tears escaped his eyes, he struggled to speak. “Yeah, Eleanor? I need your help.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

“So let me get this straight… Well, so to speak,” Eleanor chatted calmly over her venti frappuccino. “You want me to be your girlfriend?” 

“No, I want you to  _act_  like my girlfriend.” Louis shifted in the uncomfortable leather seat. Starbucks was the only place Eleanor ever wanted to meet.

He winced slightly, feeling immediate pain in his lower back, images of Harry flashing in his mind. Not only was he physically hurt, but the emotional pain was stronger. He didn’t think Harry had it in him to be so judgmental and  _vile._ Then again, maybe he should have seen this coming. Harry hadn’t been very nice to him at first either. Louis really should have known better.

“Oh, okay. You know,  _I_ have a reputation to think about too. Maybe I don’t want to be seen hand in hand with some-”

“You’d really be helping me,” Louis insisted, giving her a pleading look.

Eleanor drummed her fingers against the table, apparently uninterested in anything Louis had to say.

“I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything, but I really don’t exactly enjoy being bullied. My mum’s already gonna freak.” Louis pointed to the bruise on his cheek, and Eleanor’s face lit up, showing a bit more interested. He sighed, knowing that she wouldn’t just agree without getting something in return.“I’ll buy you things.” 

“I’m listening,” she purred as she sipped out of the signature green straw.

“Pretend to be my girlfriend and I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

“Anything? Well, then.” A look of amusement showed in her facial expression, and she nodded her head slowly. Louis could only imagine what she had in mind. “I guess I’ll see what I can do.” She got up and grabbed her bag. “See you tomorrow, boo.”

Eleanor left with a wink, and Louis couldn’t help but smile. With a girl Like El on his arm, there was no way he could be tormented anymore. He just had to figure out how to get around the whole already coming out thing.

                                                             ****

The next day at school, Louis hurried to his locker. He heard whispers encircling him as he passed through the corridors. He was unsure if they were due to the spectacle that happened yesterday, or if Eleanor had already spread that they were dating. With the snickers and hushed judgmental tones, Louis could only assume it was because of the scene that had taken place the day before.

“Well, well,” Harry said as he slammed Louis’ locker shut, nearly smashing his fingers. “What do we have here?”

The moment his eyes met with Harry, for once, he felt nothing. The usual pounding in his heart, what had started off as a crush and ended as a bully, wasn’t there, and Louis was strangely comfortable around him. 

“I’m just trying to get my books, Harry. Just stop, I don’t have ti-“

Harry leaned against his locker, crossing his arms. “You seemed to have plenty of time yesterday,  _LouLou_.”

The way he said LouLou sent shivers down Louis’ back. His heartbeat had increased with Harry’s menacing grin and how he could sense that something was about to happen. Niall and Liam had joined Harry now, neither of the two interrupting.

“Hey! Is there something wrong here?” Eleanor’s strong voice came from behind Harry, and Louis breathed a small sigh of relief.

She stepped around him and grabbed Louis by the arm, giving a dangerous look to Harry.

“We’re not going to have any problems with my boobear, now. Are we, Hazza?” She pouted her lip at Harry, and glanced daggers at the other boys.

“Hazza, wha-” Harry tried to get out, but Eleanor had already toted Louis away. Louis couldn’t figure out if he was grateful for the rescue, or going to resent being helped by a girl. Regardless, he was satisfied with the idea that Harry might finally leave him alone.

“That was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. Did you see the look on Harry’s face?” Eleanor giggled as they walked into chemistry.

“I was more fearing for my life, to be honest,” Louis replied truthfully.

“With me around, he won’t have anything to pester you about, boo.”

“I guess,” Louis said with a shrug, not fully convinced that this would stop Harry. “Why would anyone believe us though? I came out a week ago, and now I have a girlfriend? Sounds a bit sketchy to me.” He sighed as he opened his chemistry notebook.

“Well, obviously we’ll have to be smart about it. You’ll carry my books to my next class, and then kiss me on the cheek.”

“Gross.” Louis wrinkled his nose.

“It’s not like I’m asking you to sniff my vagina. Grow up, gay boy.” She rolled her eyes as she faced the front of the classroom.

“This should be very interesting.” Eleanor grinned as she spotted Harry’s glare from across the room. “Very interesting, indeed.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

The taunts stopped sooner than Louis had expected, and though it was a relief to him, it was also a bit unsettling. Louis was no longer bullied with Eleanor by his side at all times. Even Zayn stopped picking on him and instead, patted him on the back encouragingly, congratulating him on getting a girl like El. Louis hated that people were suddenly being nice to him now that he “wasn’t gay” but since he wasn’t being bulled, he decided to deal with it the best he could.

Eleanor was literally with Louis all the time, or at least when they saw each other in the halls or shared classes together. But it wasn’t like someone was going to pick on him under teacher’s supervision, so despite how paranoid Louis still was, he really was doing okay. Eleanor was actually pretty cool, and he somewhat enjoyed spending time with her. 

During his classes, all he could think of was Harry and how he reacted when he found out. That had been only yesterday, and he hadn’t expected Harry to actually leave him alone. Maybe he and Eleanor were really doing a better job than he thought.

Louis walked out of his last class with Eleanor clinging onto his arm. He was smiling for the first time in a while, happy that everything was starting to get back to normal again. Eleanor pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek, making sure that everyone saw. Louis followed her until they exited the school and they went their separate ways.

He smiled to himself as he passed the school, heading to the next block. He was readjusting his backpack so his back was more comfortable; it still ached from the other day. Louis pulled out his phone to listen to music as he walked but then a force collided with him, knocking them both to the ground.

The curly hair was the immediate giveaway that this was Harry, and Louis gulped hard as he backed away from the boy. “Sorry,” he said quickly, picking himself off the ground, patting the dirt from his jeans.

“I thought you were gay.”

Louis’ face flushed and he bit down his lip nervously. “I’m not.”

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

Harry almost smiled then, but it could be mistaken for a petty smirk. “You’re honestly expecting everyone to believe you’ve suddenly become straight? Do you really think you can fool people that easily? How stupid do you think I am?”

Louis’ eyes flickered as he scratched the back of his neck. “Well-”

Harry grabbed him by the collar, pushing him up against the fence behind them. “I know you like boys, don’t fucking lie to me.”

“I- don’t-” Louis choked out, desperately wanting Harry to release him. It wasn’t like he didn’t expect Harry to hurt him again, but he’d been silently praying that he would continue to leave him alone.

Harry tightened his grip on the other boy, and there was something flickering in his eyes and it was something other than the usual anger and disgust. He was breathing heavily, his green orbs darkened, and he pushed his thigh in between Louis’ legs.

“Why are you dating Eleanor?”

Louis huffed, raising an eyebrow at Harry. “Why do you care?”

He was trying hard to not show how frightened he was of the other boy. Fear was weakness, and Louis wasn’t about to be made out as weak.

“I don’t.” Harry released his hold on Louis, but their bodies were still pressed together. “I’m just curious is all. I mean, really. Why would Eleanor date some faggot?”

Louis didn’t know what to say. He and Eleanor had yet to go over certain things, including what to say if people didn’t believe them. He really didn’t think people would question them much about it, but maybe Harry was smarter than he thought.

“That’s what I thought,” Harry said, smirking. “What’s the deal then? Are you paying her?” He raised the pitch of his voice, and spoke mockingly, pinching Lou’s cheeks. “Is she gonna protect you?”

“No,” Louis denied instantly, but did nothing to get Harry away from him. “We’re dating, Harry, get that through your thick skull.” And then he knew just what to say to get him to back off. “And I only said I liked you to embarrass you, remember?”

Harry’s eyebrows brushed together, forming a frown. His grip lessened, and Louis felt an immediate rush of blood-flow to his head.

 “You only came out to embarrass me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Now you’re catching on,” Louis said, crossing his arms, adding a smirk in there for good measure.

Harry shook his head in disbelief, blinking a few times, and mouthing ‘wow’. Then his eyes met with Louis’ and he shook his head again, chuckling. “I refuse to believe that. Nobody in their fucking mind would put up with shit like you went through just to make a fool out of someone else.”

“I would,” Louis found himself saying.

“But why?”

“Since when do you care what I do and don’t do?”

“Jesus Christ… I don’t fucking care about you, you fucking queer,” Harry grabbed Louis by the shoulders, grasping them tightly. “I care about Eleanor and I want you to stay the fuck away from her.”

Louis couldn’t help the pang that brought to his chest. Since when did he give two shits about Eleanor? He fought away the cringe that threatened on his face. 

“And what if I don’t?”

“You’ll never get rid of me,” Harry threatened, shooting Louis a menacing grin as he leaned closer to him.

Louis ceased to acknowledge the irony of the whole situation, the fact that Harry would keep bothering him even if Eleanor was with him. He simply smiled under Harry’s glare, an edge in his voice as he spoke.

 “Good, that means my plan is working.”

“You’re such a fag,” Harry rolled his eyes. “But you are clever.”

“I told you, I’m not gay.”

“Oh, really?” Harry raised an eyebrow, brushing back his curly locks. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I did this?” Without warning, Harry moved his head to Louis, smashing their lips together. He pressed a small kiss to them, then pulled away, his mouth rubbing against Louis’ cheek, his tongue making circles. “I bet this turns you on.” Then his hand found Louis’ belt, and he set his hands on his crotch, palming him softly.

Louis swallowed his moans, trying not to show Harry that he was, as a matter of fact, turning him on, despite the fact that maybe he was enjoying this a little more than he should. “Stop,” he managed to get out, but made no effort of pushing Harry away.

Harry pressed their lips together, running his hands up and down the other’s back, positioning his fingers on the back of his neck as he continued to kiss him passionately. Unintentionally, Louis found himself kissing him back, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist, pulling their bodies closer. Harry’s hands were still moving against his cock, and Louis had a full-grown erection through the fabric. He’d never gotten this much action before and he was afraid that if Harry didn’t stop, he was going to come soon.

Harry honestly wasn’t sure what he was doing, himself. Something had taken over, and he didn’t entirely mind. Kissing Louis was satisfying to him some way, so when Louis unsurprisingly hadn’t jerked away he simply continued this endeavor. Harry pulled away slightly, his lips still lingering by Louis’. They slightly brushed against each other as he looked into Louis’s blue eyes, drowning in them in an instant. That’s when reality kicked in for both of them.

Louis peeled himself away from Harry, backing up and nearly falling over. Louis was breathless, still taken away by that kiss and common sense finally took over, reminding him that this was  _Harry_ and Harry had just kissed him.

So instead, he simply smirked, smiling at the boy with the surprised expression on his face. “Are you sure  _you’re_  not gay, Harry? You seemed to enjoy that.”

Harry’s eyes darkened, and he started to move towards Louis, but hesitated. He shot him a glare after glancing around, making sure no one had seen anything. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll fucking kill you.” Harry pointed a finger at Louis threateningly, then took off in the opposite direction, leaving a very confused Louis to sort out his thoughts. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

There was a loud sigh as sweaty skin rubbed against warm sheets when Louis rolled around, unable to stay still. He was going in and out of consciousness as dreams of soft yet strong lips drifted in and out. He huffed as he finally sat up, losing all hope in sleeping. He fondly smiled as he thought of his dreaming and how they accurately replayed the memory of that stolen kiss. He’d had the same dream over and over for the past few nights, ever since the… incident. No, incident wasn’t the right word… miracle; yeah, that was a much more accurate description.

Louis rolled over and cuddled into his pillow, nervous butterflies flitting in his stomach as his thought remained on the curly haired boy. Sure, Harry had gone out of his way to avoid Louis since the… miracle, but Louis remained hopeful. There was just something about those green eyes. Something different, Louis pondered wistfully. They weren’t distant when he kissed him. They were so close, so full of life, so  _beautiful._ And when his lips had been against Louis’… Louis giggled and squirmed around in his bed as he felt his stomach bubble up in anxiety.

 

And then the images flashed in his mind from when he’d been punched, and he remembered the pain followed by the distraught look on Harry’s face as his fist collided with Louis’ face. Louis shuddered, pulling the covers over his body as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. It was all too confusing how Harry would bully him one minute then passionately kiss him the next. Maybe Harry had only been screwing with him, wanting him to believe there was something there that obviously wasn’t.

 

Tomorrow would be the day he talked to Harry again, whether he wanted it or not.

 

~~

 

Harry was sleeping soundly, his face peaceful and relaxed in his slumber. A smile played on his lips as his dreams shifted from apathetic darkness to pleasant images of blue eyes. His subconscious was cruel, floating the image away as he reached out to them, only to grasp onto soft light brown hair. His dreamself smiled as dream-Louis did, entranced in the smaller boy’s features. As much as Harry lied to himself while he was awake, he just couldn’t escape the truth in his dreams. He gave into his desires and passionately kissed dream-Louis, hungrily devouring soft virtual lips.

 

Harry awoke with a start, sweat beading above his brow. He looked below his covers to see that his body had betrayed him, and mockingly displayed his arousal. Harry was tired of his pride. He just wanted to be able to get what he wanted, which, he had come to terms with, was Louis fucking Tomlinson. The little twat  _refused_  to get out of his mind ever since Harry slipped up and kissed the twit.

 

He sighed heavily as he brought his knees in and held them with his arms. Tomorrow was the day Harry would get over his pride.

 

~~

 

Louis and Eleanor walked hand in hand on their way to school the next morning. She was wearing the new outfit Louis had shelled out for the day before, and sipping cautiously on her hot mocha from Starbucks.

 

“Sounds like a pretty intense dream,” Eleanor stated after Louis described his dream in detail to her.

 

“It was, it really was,” Louis mused, smiling sheepishly to the ground.

 

“Harry Styles…” Eleanor pondered aloud, her voice lost in thought. “He totally has a boner for you, boo.”

 

She nodded her head in absolute certainty, and then nudged him in the side with her elbow.

 

“He does  _not,_ ” Louis said, almost choking on his coffee. His back had healed, so his heavy backpack wasn’t overbearing on him this morning.

 

“Does  _too,_ ” Eleanor immediately challenged. “Trust me, I  _know_  that puppy-eyed look boys get when they see something they want. Usually it’s for me, but Harry was definitely not making them towards me.”

 

Louis laughed light-heartedly. The thought of Harry actually liking him back was so farfetched, but maybe… If Louis had read his green eyes correctly that day…

“Oh, but I’d never cheat on you, Elly,” Louis joked, cracking a huge smile.

 

They both laughed as Eleanor changed from holding hands to linking their arms. Her hand had begun to feel sweaty. They were just to the front entrance of the school when a certain curly haired lad spotted the jovial pair. He furrowed his brow momentarily as he felt a flash of anger. Louis wasn’t supposed to laugh like that with anyone else but him. Not that they ever had, but Harry was going to change that. He just had to.

 

“Hello, Tomlinson.  _Calder,_ ” Harry greeted them, startling them out of their laughter. He almost seemed to hiss out Eleanor’s last name.

 

“Oh, hey Hazza,” Eleanor calmly replied. She knew when she was cockblocking someone, and for some reason it always made her feel imperial.

 

“Hi, Harry.” Louis’s voice sounded so innocent, and all of Harry’s anger came crashing down with his heart.

 

“Louis, I-“

 

“Oh, look at the time! Class is about to start. Sorry, Hazza, finish this later?” Eleanor interrupted as she dragged Louis into the building. “Bye!”

 

Louis turned around momentarily to catch Harry’s eye, a spark of electricity resounded in the lower section of his tummy; he just couldn’t get over those emerald beauties.

 

“Eleanor, why’d you do that?!” Louis demanded as he yanked his arm away from her.

 

“Helping you play hard to get, you little cunt,” she said in the nicest way anyone could call someone a cunt.

 

“Do you think that will work?” Louis sounded hesitant, his face showing intense worry. Eleanor thought he looked adorable with the way his beanie shaped his fringe to his face.

 

“Absolutely.” She patted him on the back. “Come on, we’ll be late for chemistry.”

 

~~

 

After class, Louis carefully made his way over to Harry’s locker. He shifted his gaze around, making sure no one would notice as he stuffed a note into his dream boy’s locker. He had quickly scrawled it out, so that Eleanor didn’t notice what he was doing and stop him.

 

_You wanted to talk? Meet me at Starbucks after school!_

_-Lou_

He dropped the note into Harry’s locker, suddenly regretting it. What if it sounded too forward? Too clingy? What if Harry thought it was weird? He decided to leave the scene of the crime, in order to not make a scene. He sighed because what was done was done.

 

The rest of his classes went by quickly. He sat at his usual lunch spot with Eleanor, not mentioning one word of the note. He had to grab a book from his locker before his last class, so he walked El to hers and placed a kiss on her cheek.

 

He opened his locker and a small piece of paper floated out and to his feet. He eagerly picked it up and unfolded it.

 

**I need to talk to you. Meet me in the courtyard after school.**

**-Haz**

Louis scrunched his nose in confusion. When had Harry put that note there? It had to have been before he read his. He sulked to his last class, trying to decide where he should go afterwards. Was Harry going to go to the courtyard like he originally planned, or go to Starbucks like Louis had suggested? He sighed as his Literature class started and he pulled out his notebook. He examined the small piece of paper that Harry had written on, and smiled deeply at it.

 

Maybe Harry really did feel the same way.

 

~~

 

Louis’ teacher let his class out early, so when he vacated the classroom and saw Harry there waiting for him, he was a bit surprised.

 

“I wasn’t entirely sure where we were going to go… Our notes were so similar except for the destination,” Harry explained.

 

Louis smiled at the other boy, and looked around to see if any enemies were lurking about.

 

“Let’s go to my house,” Louis suggested. “It’ll be quiet there.”

 

Louis led the way, his walking slightly skippy due to his elated mood. Harry acknowledged this with a soft grin, and chuckled inwardly. After they rounded the corner, Harry silently took Louis by the hand.

 

“It’s just a few more blocks,” Louis said, completely aware of the burning sensation Harry’s touch was causing his hand.

 

Perhaps today really was the day. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

After they entered Louis’ room, the door had barely closed behind them when Harry threw Louis against the wall, nearly hitting the windowpane. He couldn’t bring himself to care as he pushed his body up against Louis’, smashing their lips together forcefully, except that Louis was kissing him back and it had been anything but forced.

“Harry,” the feathered-haired lad managed to get out when Harry pulled their lips apart briefly to pull Louis’ shirt off over his head, immediately lapsing back into to the kiss. Harry’s lips made their way down to his collarbones, tracing down his nipples and onto his stomach until he approached the waistband. Hastily, he pulled Louis’ pants down and pressed his mouth to the fabric, biting down and eliciting moans from the other boy.

Heartbeat racing, he felt a hand knot in his hair once he’d covered Louis’ length with his mouth as he started to go down on him. Moans stirred out of Louis as he yanked onto Harry’s curls as he thrusted himself into the other boy’s mouth. Harry grabbed onto Louis’ thighs for support and it was seconds later that Louis finally spilled everything he had into the other’s mouth.  

Harry had seated himself on Louis’ bed, wiping his mouth with a tissue while Louis was busy catching his breath, staring at the other boy questioningly.  Harry stared back, wondering why the hell he had even done that. He’d come here to talk, not rip Louis’ pants off.

“Is that a tattoo?” Louis asked, pointing to the dark point peeking out of Harry’s left sleeve.

“What? No.” Harry moved his left arm back slightly and looked to the side.

Louis sighed, making his way over to the other boy, lifting his sleeve to reveal a nautical star covering the top of his forearm. He smirked, letting the shirt fall back over it. “Nice.”

Harry’s face flushed, and he knew it was undeniable that Louis knew.

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what? The tattoo?”

Louis shook his head and lifted a brow. He put his shirt back on and awkwardly sat next to Harry.

“What then? Suck you off?” Harry said with a smirk and Louis nodded his head as if that had been the most obvious thing in the world. “Needed to see if you’re really gay.”

Louis seemed to let it go because he asked moments later, “What did you want to talk about anyway?”

The curly-haired lad dropped his hands, and sighed. He might as well get this over with. “Look. I like you, Louis,” Louis had barely looked at him when he continued,  “but they can’t know I like you.”

Louis’ expression undeniably showed just how surprised he was, and his eyes were fixated on the other boy, as if to search for any lies behind his words. He raised an eyebrow. “Okay…?”

“That’s why I’m always putting you down. If the guys knew I’m some fag, they would never let me live it down.”

“Coming out isn’t easy,” Louis began to explain, making it clear that he was, as a matter of fact, gay, if that wasn’t already obvious. “Trust me, it was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. But,” he paused, repositioning himself on his bed, “it’s definitely a lot better than lying and hiding yourself from the world.” 

Louis’ own words really hit home, as he contemplated his fake relationship with Eleanor. 

“You don’t understand,” Harry argued, shaking his head. “It’s not the same. You’re, well, you, and I’m… me.” He sighed, knowing that didn’t make sense at all. “If people are treating you this badly, I can’t imagine how people would react if they found out about me.”

“Keep in mind that you bully me the most. Everyone else is just a bystander.”

“Keep in mind I don’t even touch you anymore, Tomlinson.” Harry was sounding slightly aggressive, and by using Louis’ last name it indicated that he was clearly upset. “Not since you got the beard.”

“Jealous?”

Harry formed a fist but once he’d brought it up to Louis’ face, it shook as his anger died down, and he found himself unrolling his fist.

“I’m not jealous,” he growled. Harry was  _not_ jealous. He just hated the fact that Louis had been spending all his time with Eleanor instead of himself, but that did  _not_ mean he was jealous.

He quickly observed how scared Louis looked then, and instantly regretted that move he nearly executed.  

“I don’t think this is going to work out.” Louis started to get up, but Harry pulled him back down.

“Please, Louis. I’m sorry. I can’t help my temper.”

Louis crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “Trust me, Harry.  _I know._ ” Then he froze, staring at Harry with disbelief. “Wait, did you just apologize?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

Louis shrugged, sitting back down. “I just never thought I’d live to see the day Harry Styles would apologize to me.”

“Louis,” Harry rolled out his name on his tongue, loving the way it sounded. He set his hand over Louis’, staring at those bright blue orbs. “Please give me a chance.”

Louis huffed a troubled breath. “And what do I get in return? A beating every time I get near you?”

“You have Eleanor to protect you.”

“Aha, so you didn’t deny that you-”

“Of course I’ll have to keep it up. You know that,” Harry finished for him, understanding his concerns but trying to get it out of his head that he was ‘jealous’. “It’s only until I come out.”

“I just don’t think this is a good idea…”

Harry pecked Louis swiftly on the lips, smiling at him when he pulled away. “It’s worth a shot, don’t you think?”

And when Louis had reeled Harry back in for another kiss, that’s when he knew that maybe things would actually work out for once.

~

Louis didn’t dare to tell anyone about Harry. Along with the fact that whatever they had was supposed to be kept a secret, there was also his death threat that came to mind.  _Tell anyone about this and I’ll fucking kill you._ Louis wouldn’t admit it, but there was still a part of him that was afraid of Harry. He still feared that Harry was only messing with him, planning to do something to ruin him in the long run. But strange enough, a part of him trusted Harry to take care of him, despite the irony.

He hadn’t seen Harry at all the next day at school. He and Eleanor strolled down the halls with linked hands, talking about how ridiculous their English teacher was for assigning them so much homework. Eleanor had given him a quick kiss on the mouth (um, ew) before they departed for their next class. Louis wiped his lips with the back of his hand, tasting strawberry lip gloss (once again, ew!) and walked into the locker rooms, which was surprisingly empty. Was he really that early?

Louis felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and if he didn’t already know, a moment later there were soft lips on his mouth and at that point he was one-hundred percent sure it was Harry. When they pulled away from each other, Harry was grinning smugly at him.

He pushed a stray thread of hair from Louis’ eyes and continued to smile, pulling him into a hug.

“So how was your day?” Louis decided to ask.

“Better now that you’re here,” Harry responded, his face flushing slightly. His emerald orbs were brighter than ever, and he looked downright happy. Or at least he was until the sound of footsteps rattled in the room and Louis found himself being knocked to the ground.

“Yeah! Show him his place!” Zayn cheered, smacking Harry’s hand in encouragement. Louis groaned, mentally trying to calm himself down as he was reminded that Harry was only doing this to keep his reputation, not because he really wanted to hurt him.

Louis dragged his body off the ground, grabbing onto the bench for support. He had just started straightening out his shirt when he caught a fist flying into his chest, and he was back on the ground the next minute. A foot came in contact with his body and he found himself curling into a ball to protect himself.

“Stop! Please!” he found himself begging as tears made their way down his cheeks. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Harry looking at him sadly and it made Louis furious that he was just standing there, doing absolutely nothing while Zayn continued to gut Louis helplessly.

Thankfully, he was saved by the bell and Zayn and his friends ran along, laughing at his misfortune. He breathed heavily, struggling to pull himself off the hard floor. Louis sniffled, leaning against the wall of lockers.

“Harry!” he cried out, wondering why the  _hell_ Harry wasn’t helping him now that everyone had left. Except when he finally opened his teary eyes, he was utterly shocked to see that Harry was nowhere to be seen. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

Things were going well for Louis Tomlinson. He had good grades, his home life was more than acceptable, but most of all, Louis had a boyfriend. Sure, that boyfriend sometimes beat him up if his friends got too close to them at school, or called him names right after saying a sweet sentiment. But Louis tried not to let that bother him since he always looked forward to the time they spent after school. Where he and Harry didn’t have to hide their affection and had civil conversations. 

Harry would always go with Louis to his house after school. They’d fool around sometimes, but mostly they would just cuddle and discuss their day. Harry’s lips were like drugs to Louis; he could never quite get enough. And when Harry made sure to leave before Louis’ mom came home, Louis couldn’t deny his disappointment.  

“I’ll be back tomorrow, boo,” Harry would promise, giving him one last kiss on the mouth. 

Louis’ stomach would always buzz about like bumble bees were threatening to break free every time Harry kissed him. There was a look in Harry’s eyes that only showed when they were locked in place on his bed. When Louis kissed his neck and collarbones, Louis could hear when Harry’s breath would hitch.

_So why hasn’t he told me he loves me yet?_  Louis always asked himself. 

It had been weeks since they started their “arrangement”, as Harry liked to call it. Louis told himself, and Eleanor, that he was secretly dating Harry.

Eleanor was always there to listen to Louis. She would normally roll her eyes as she held up a dress to herself and looked in the mirror. Louis would then look at the price-tag and groan while she gave him pouty lips. 

So yes, things were going well for Louis. All until that one stupid day where everything came crashing back down to reality.

~~

“Stop it, Haz!” Louis giggled uncontrollably as Harry tickled his sides. His face was turning red from lack of oxygen as he squirmed to try and get free from the unwanted tickles. 

Harry’s lips made contact with Louis’ neck and began sucking and nibbling, causing more raucous laughter to erupt from Louis.

“No, stop, please!” There were literally tears in Louis’ eyes now from so much laughter. Harry moved slightly to the left, and it was done. He had found the spot. Louis’ reflexes were brash and Harry found himself flying toward the floor, but not before he grabbed Louis to take him down with him. 

They hit the floor and wrestled a bit before they both gave up, breathing heavily and laughing as Louis fell onto Harry’s chest. Harry stroked Louis’ soft brown hair and exhaled wistfully.

“Hey, Boobear…?”

“Yeah, Hazza?” Louis lifted his head to look at Harry. His curls were in disarray and his eyes were wild, but they had a sort of determination shining in them. That spark almost immediately faded as he dropped his head to look up at the ceiling. 

“Nothing, never mind,” he said as his hand left Louis’ head and hit the floor as well. 

Louis cocked his head to the side slightly, and he repositioned himself to hover over Harry. Harry’s mouth immediately flicked into a smile. The smile was interrupted as fevered lips smashed into his. Harry returned the kiss eagerly, his fingers wrapped in Louis’ hair.

Louis’ hands traveled up Harry’s stomach, pushing up his white T-shirt with strong dominant hands. He pulled back and looked Harry in the eyes, and there was a smile playing on his lips. Louis returned his smile, and he couldn’t help but think that he would gladly spend the rest of his life in that exact spot, staring into those beautiful green eyes. 

But nothing could last forever, because then Harry broke the moment by looking at his watch and scrambling to his feet, ready to leave.

“Your mum is going to be home in literally minutes. Your sisters should be getting back from their afterschool activities too, right?” Harry said inexasperation. 

Louis simply stood there, his face cast slightly down towards the floor in disappointment that his boyfriend was leaving him yet again.

“What’s wrong, Boo?” Harry asked as he lifted Louis’ face by the chin. Though the gesture was reassuring, he still didn’t feel completely at ease.

“Nothing,” Louis faked a smile. He was unable to ask the other boy to stay for dinner, to meet his mother and sisters, to love him.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Boo,” Harry assured him, smiling genuinely and reeled him in for one last lingering kiss. 

Little did Louis know their goodbye was longer than expected.

~~

Harry entered the combination to his locker. His face was bright with memories dancing in his head from the previous afternoon. Then came the embarrassment of a memory of not being able to finish his sentence. He wanted to tell Louis that he loved him, but even after yesterday, he still couldn’t seem to find the right moment. Harry knew he was just being a coward and that’s what pissed him off the most. And with that condescending thought, he chucked his chemistry book back into his locker aggressively. 

“Hey.” A finger tapped Harry on the shoulder, causing him to spin around.

“Oh, hi.” Harry’s expression immediately softened at the sight of Louis, reminding himself that at least he hadn’t given up on him after everything.

“You look a bit upset,” Louis stated, shooting him a look of concern. He was about to reach out to touch him, but fell back, not wanting anyone to see.

“Oh, not really, just-“

“Well, hello.” Niall’s voice sounded behind Harry’s head, causing him to freeze mid-sentence.

“Oh, hey, Nialler,” Harry puffed out the words, his face flaming from the unexpected encounter.

“Hey, Harry!” Liam said from beside Niall, setting his elbow over the other boy’s shoulder playfully. Liam was always such a soft-faced puppy-like individual. 

“I should probably get to cla-” Louis started as he began to walk away, but Niall grabbed him softly-yet-firmly by the arm. 

“Hang on there, love,” Niall said with implied sarcasm, his eyes were fixed on Harry. “I heard something from someone… I’d just like some confirmation.”

“What do you want, Niall?” Harry asked with a straight face, already getting a vague idea what this might be about.

“Someone said that they keep seeing you leaving the school with Louis… And that you’ve been going to his house every day,” Niall explained, finally lettingLouis’ arm go. 

Louis didn’t show the fear on his face, but he definitely felt it as his eyes shifted between Harry and Niall. Liam was simply leaning against the locker, staring blankly at Niall, looking as if he wanted nothing to do with this conversation. Harry couldn’t fathom the words to say. For once he was speechless.

“We have a chemistry project… And we’re partners. For the project,” Louis interjected with a strong voice, glancing over at the curly-haired boy for approval.

Harry inwardly let out a sigh of relief as Niall looked over to Louis.  “Oh, I see.” 

Eleanor came strutting over and grabbed Louis by the hand, smiling out of place. ”Hey, Boo,” she trilled. “We need to get to chemistry. We have that project due soon!”

She dragged him away, and that’s when the lie came crashing down along with Harry’s confidence. He looked at Niall whose eyes told him everything. 

“I was just screwing with him,” Harry tried to explain, though he knew he was only making matters worse.

“More like screwing him,” Liam joked nonchalantly from the side. He laughed at his own joke as he examined his nails that he had been chewing absent-mindedly.

Harry thought quick, wanting to desperately try to escape the hole he’d somehow fallen in. ”No, really. This is going to end great, I promise. It’s all a prank I’m playing on him, you’ll see,” he finally said. 

Thankfully, Niall seemed to buy the lie. ”Wow, this is going to be good,”  he said as he patted Harry on the shoulder and laughed with him. 

“Yes, really good,” Harry agreed, turning to his locker and losing all of the amusement in his face. Liam was standing next to him and noticed his expression falter, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything.

~~

Louis waited outside the school after his last period like he usually did. He checked his watch for the millionth time with a confused expression on his face. He shivered quietly at the chilly London breeze and pulled his beanie down to cover his ears, his breath fogging up the air. He was about ready to leave, deciding Harry was already at his place, but then his face lit up when he saw Harry exit the building. Harry zipped up his jacket andglanced at Louis, beginning to walk in a different direction.

“Harry?” Louis called out to him as he started to follow him.

Harry ignored him as he hurried forward, running his fingers through his curls. He tried to forget the other boy who was now shouting desperately to get his attention. Louis was too fast for him though.

“Hazza?” Louis said quietly, trying for his voice not to crack. He clutched to the back of Harry’s jacket, forcing him to turn around.

His expression was soft at first, but then his eyes flicked up and widened. And in that instant, his face turned to stone. 

“What do you want from me,  _queer?_ ” Harry spat the words out. He glanced over at his friends to see an approving look from Niall, and an apathetic one plastered on Liam’s face.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, unaware that Harry was only trying to act for his friends. ”Harry, what are yo-“ He began to say but wasn’t able to finish his sentence before he was knocked to the ground. 

“Shut up, you fucking fag!” Harry shouted, glowering at him darkly. ”Don’t you get it?” He spoke through clenched teeth, making each word harsh and spiteful. “I never cared about you.”

Louis didn’t have time to comprehend Harry’s words,  and he found himself questioning him, as if unsure he had actually said that.”What are you saying?” He cried, attempting to pick himself off the ground but found the task impossible from another blow from Harry. 

“You heard me!” Harry shot back, fighting back tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

“You’re such a fucking coward!” Louis screamed back, dealing with tears of his own. ”I hate you! The joke’s on you, Styles.  _I’m_  the one that never fucking cared!”

He didn’t bother to look back at the devastated expression on Harry’s face as he scrambled to his feet and ran with all his might in the other direction. Louis saw Niall smirking at him through his tears. Liam watched Louis pass with slight apprehension, wanting to reach out and help the boy somehow. 

“What a joke!” Niall laughed and jerked his thumb in the direction of where Louis had ran. Liam looked at him disapprovingly, giving  him a nice smack in the gut.

“You guys are so rude!” He exclaimed with intense judgment, stalking off away from the two remaining boys.  

Taking that as his cue, Harry turned around quickly and went his own way. He didn’t want the other boys to see the tears that had already made their trip down his face. He tried to forget that he may have just lost the love of his life as he ran off, wanting to take back everything he said.

~~

Louis threw his door open aggressively, cursing as he tossed his backpack to the ground. He paced around his room anxiously and knew without a doubt that this was literally the worst thing that could have happened.

Louis knew he was stupid. He wasn’t going to lie and say he hadn’t expected something to go wrong. That Harry had lied from the start or simply grown tired of him. And it was all because Louis had let himself be stupid. He had let himself be happy. 

_“I never cared about you.”_

The words rang in his head over and over as he continued his violent rampage throughout the house. He let the tears fall freely. He was alone, no one would care. Not that anyone cared in the first place.

_“I never cared about you.”_

“Fuck!” He screamed, grabbing a vase and throwing it at a wall. It smashed to pieces and fell to the floor immediately. He examined the sharp edges intently as if they were representing how broken he felt.

_“I never cared about you.”_

What the  _fuck?_  Louis knew that Harry cared. Louis wasn’t stupid. But he was tired. Louis was just sick of being the punching bag, whether or not he got Harry in return.

At this point, Louis was intent on never seeing anyone again. With the overwhelming thoughts racing through his mind, he rushed toward the kitchen, his hands shaking in anticipation as he yanked open the cupboard. He grabbed at anything he could find, pill bottles falling aimlessly from the top shelf. He wiped away the waterfall of tears as he attempted to read the labels. He gave up after a while and simply opened them all and poured their contents out on the cabinet. 

Louis sniffed as he stared at the spectrum of tablets and capsules that splayed out in front of him.

_“I never cared about you.”_

He grabbed a handful of the prescribed medicine and stuffed them into his mouth, swallowing them dry.

_“I never cared about you.”_

Louis grabbed the rest, literally eating them like candy. He swiped the bottles off of the counter and they made a loud clank when they made contact with the floor. He walked slowly toward the couch, but didn’t make it. His body dropped to the ground as all of his thoughts were overwhelmed by one simple line.

_“I never cared about you.”_

Whatever. Louis grimaced, mocking a smile he thought about Zayn and how he always figured that he was feigning heterosexuality. Such a hypocrite. And Liam, he never said much, did he? And Niall, what a bumbling idiot. Louis was sure he’d have been a nice friend to have though. Then there was Harry. Why couldn’t they all just get along and form a band or something? Louis laughed out loud at the strange thought, positive it was the drugs taking effect. 

_“I never cared about you.”_

Louis smiled dreamily, feeling the numbness taking over his body. Harry’s face was the last thing he saw as his eyes closed.

~~

Harry didn’t want to go home. Harry didn’t want anything… except for Louis. Instead he sat at the park for a while, his face serene with anger and sadness. He kicked the pebbles at his feet and sighed. Harry knew it was risky, but he wanted to tell Louis he was sorry. He checked his watch,  wondering if Louis’ mother was home by now.  _What would it hurt to meet her, though?_  Harry thought fondly, but his smile instantly slipped when he realized he’d probably never have the chance anyway.

_“The joke’s on you, Styles.”_

Harry gulped at the memory, a pit forming in his stomach. Did Louis really mean that? 

Harry stood up, more determined than ever. He walked briskly in the direction of Louis’ house, wanting to fix everything. He placed his hands in his jacket pockets and walked on. 

_“I’m the one that never fucking cared.”_

Harry shook at the memory, fighting away the sting of tears. He had to make things right somehow. He had to get his Boobear back. 

As he rounded the corner, his eyes widened as bright lights flashed in front of him. His eyes raked over to the ambulance in front of Louis’ house. Already expecting the worst, he broke into a run, his breathing suddenly heavy with apprehension. There was a woman standing in front in a mess of tears as she was talking to a paramedic. 

“What’s going on?” Harry shouted, his voice cracked.

Two more paramedics came rushing out of the house, rolling a gurney with a body strapped to it. It was hard to tell beneath the mask and cords, but it was definitely Louis lying there. He was so still, and so unnaturally pale. 

“Louis?!” Harry shouted in agonizing numbness, wanting to know exactly how he’d gotten into this condition, though he had a pretty good idea. He reached out toward him, but he was too late as Louis was pushed into the back of the ambulance. When the doors closed and the two were separated, everything truly came crashing down in that moment. 

Louis was near death, if not dead already, and Harry was at absolute fault. He openly let tears flow down his face as he ran from the scene. He couldn’t stay there with Louis’ mother looking at him with concern, unaware of the horrors he’d created.

Harry was such an idiot. Harry was such an idiot.

_“The joke’s on you, Styles.”_

~~

“Hello?” Eleanor answered her phone casually as she examined her freshly painted nails. “Oh, hi, Jay, how ar-“

Eleanor let the other woman babble on, her voice was riddled in tears. Her eyes widened as she heard the inevitable words, and tears began to fill her eyes. 

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Eleanor let her phone drop to the ground. Her face was a blank slate as tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She pulled her legs up as she sat in the fetal position and buried her face in her knees, her body shaking with convulsive tears. 

She only allowed this breakdown momentarily until she raced towards her purse and keys and ran for the door. Her best friend needed her.

~~

_“All students to the auditorium for a mandatory assembly, all students to the auditorium for a mandatory assembly.”_

The monotone voice rang over the speakers. Harry jumped at the sudden noise. It seemed that everything startled him now

“Hey, cool, no first period,” Niall cheered, patting Harry on the shoulder. Almost instantly, Harry flinched away and shot him a glare. His eyes were red and his expression was anything but friendly.

“Fuck off, Horan,” he snapped and stalked off.

Harry made his way through the sea of students heading in the direction of the assembly. He sat in the back row, alone. 

“I heard someone killed themselves.” A girl whispered in the row in front of him, her words sending shivers throughout Harry’s body.

“Yeah, wasn’t it a girl? A knife to the throat or something. So gruesome!” replied another girl. 

Harry glowered at them darkly, wanting nothing more than to knock their heads together. But then remembered it was his aggressive behavior that had created this mess, and instead ignored the gossip.

The principal walked across the stage to the podium and all hushed banter immediately ceased.

“It has come to our attention that a member of this facility has attempted suicide. Mr. Tomlinson is currently in ICU at the hospital.”

There were many gasps and hushed sobs.

“Now, we are incredibly fortunate that he was found before the pills he had taken could take full effect. They pumped his stomach an-” The principle stopped short, her voice breaking.

“We have brought on extra counselors for any support you may need,” she continued. “I want to take this moment to let all of you know should you ever feel like things become too much, we will always be here to lend an extra ear.”

Harry stood up the moment the speech ended. He couldn’t sit there anymore. The girls in front of him turned around, their faces streaked with fake tears. Harry rolled his fists, absolutely furious that people only cared about Louis for his current state.They didn’t even know him. He stalked out of the auditorium with many eyes watching him. He rounded the corner briskly and nearly fell backwards as his body collided with another.

“Harry?” Eleanor asked softly.

“El,” he replied, trying his best to keep his voice steady.

“Harry fucking Styles.” She nearly screamed out his name. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing yourself to me.”

“Wha-“

“I saw that fucking spectacle you pulled yesterday,  _Hazza_ ,” she sneered.  

Harry’s eyes widened and his face fell, knowing that this was it. There was no way things could ever get back to normal.

“What is wrong with you, Harry? You have, well,  _had_  the most perfect individual this planet has ever produced. And then you just-  _ugh!”_  she screeched out the last part, smashing her palm against her forehead.

“I-”

Eleanor cut him off expectantly,“No, you don’t, Harry.” 

Harry let a sob out as he wiped at the tears coming from his eyes, wanting to say or do anything to convince her that hurting Louis was never his intention.

“Tell me, Styles. Was it really, really a fucking joke? No, let me answer. It wasn’t a joke. I know it wasn’t a fucking joke. So  _why?_ No, don’t answer that either. Because of your  _fucking useless pride._ ”

Harry punched the locker that was next to him, leaving an admirably sized dent. And then he finally exploded,“Shut up, Eleanor! I fucking know, okay?! I fucked up, and I fucked up big time. I care about him so much…” he shook his head sadly as more tears came down his cheeks.“I  _love_  him, Eleanor.”

“I’m not the one who needs to hear that,”she said blankly.

He stood there for only a moment until he took her hint andmade a break for it.

~~

Harry made his way through the maze of the hospital. He followed the arrows on the “Intensive Care” signs,breathing heavily, his heart pounding erratically. Once he found the ICU, he simply paced around in front of it for what felt like eternity. He ran his hands through his dark curls. He waited for his chronic tears to clear up and he finally had enough courage to walk into the Intensive Care Unit.

He was about to walk up to the nurse and ask her for Louis when a sudden loud shouting caught his attention.

“Why didn’t you let me die?!” He heard Louis scream, followed by a crashing sound. Then came silverware clatteringout from the door. “I  _wanted to die_. Don’t you get it?! My life is fucked!”

Harry stood intensely still **,** finding it impossible to move. He stared blankly into space, his already broken heart being torn to miniscule shreds.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

_Life goes on around us, despite our situations, despite what’s been lost, despite what’s been gained. Time is ticking by yet somehow we wake up to another day._

Louis Tomlinson rested his head against the pillow case, pulling the sheets toward him to shield himself from the sun. Turning to his side, he relived the past week in his head, how hectic everything had been, how he couldn’t seem to forget that it had actually happened. Harry had deceived him. He’d deliberately  _hurt_ him. All because Louis meant nothing to him.

His very own lies were kept captive in his mind, locking away how he truly felt. Though he’d stated he had no further intentions with Harry, and even after having told Harry himself that he didn’t care about him, it was inevitable and possibly the biggest lie Louis had ever told.

He sat up on the springy mattress, paying no attention as the cushion flew up with his body. Louis sat still, pressing his hands mindlessly onto the edge of the bed. His eyes were staring blankly ahead, his face void of any emotion.

“Louis Tomlinson?”

There was a petite, strawberry-blonde female nurse standing outside his door, a clipboard pressed against her chest. As Louis snapped out of his trance, he made way to the door, ignoring the nurse when she welcomed him with a pity smile.

Louis glared momentarily, wanting to smack the look on her face.

He absolutely hated this. 

He hated being here, having to put up with being treated like some mentally unstable freak.

He wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Harry. He shook inwardly at the thought of that name. 

His therapist’s office was a dull grey room, nothing standing out to him, nothing giving him any hope that things might get substantially better.

The session went by as per usual. Words passed between the two, words that meant nothing to Louis. The same questions were asked, the same answers were given. Louis could almost recite the words that would come out of the therapist’s mouth. 

 

_How are you doing today?_

_Fine._

_Did you sleep well?_

_Yes._

_Did you take your medication?_

_Yes._

_Do you still want to kill yourself?_

 

Louis gave one-word responses while the man scribbled aimlessly in his notebook. He honestly didn’t feel the need to tell im anything about his life, or lack thereof. The fact that it was his job meant nothing to him; why should he open up to someone who didn’t truly care about him?

Days and nights passed, slowly turning into weeks. Despite watching the hands on the clock tick past, Louis was losing track of time as well as reality. He wondered what had become of the world around him. He wondered if anybody at school had noticed his disappearance. He was sure they at least knew by now, not that he exactly expected them to care.  

Without even realizing it, Louis was opening up more to his therapist, slowly explaining exactly what had happened that day, what had brought it upon himself to want to die. He couldn’t help the frustration that he felt; being alone all day, having no one to talk to but his therapist. 

“See, I guess I  _thought_  I was in love with him,” Louis said.

The more time went on, the more Louis forgot about the person Harry was, and the things he talked to his therapist about were far from that subject.

“I had a dog when I was five,” Louis giggled slightly. “He died about a month after we got him though.”

One night he returned to his room to fall asleep for the night. At this point, Louis’ condition was best described as numb. He could still feel the pain, the hurt that spread through him when Harry had shouted at him. But what had been unbearable to remember had now become a distant memory, hidden away and nearly forgotten. Even with that, Louis knew this mindset wouldn’t last long;  the wounds would soon rip open once the scab was scratched.

Louis just didn’t know how soon that would happen.

~

Ending up in therapy was something Harry never thought would happen to him. It was voluntary, of course. But even then, it was still hard to believe.

He had visited Louis on that night at the hospital. Even after he heard Louis shout those awful things, he still stood by the door and paced the hall, waiting for any possible sign that it wasn’t too late to fix everything.

Unfortunately, in his case, nothing could be done.

Harry went home that night, worry and anxiety seeping to his core. He was targeted at every angle, regretting hurting Louis from the start. What had given him the right to be so rude, to judge him so harshly? If he’d only been able to express himself properly from the beginning, maybe Louis wouldn’t be suffering now.

Harry knew nothing could be done, and yet he was determined to fix this, or at least try to.

He had promptly walked into Louis’ home, taking that nobody was home. It could be classified as breaking in, but other things were at stake here to even consider something as insignificant as that.

Louis’ bedroom window was the first to catch his eye. Harry smiled sadly, remembering how they used to hang out here all the time. The smile disappeared immediately because he knew that would never happen again.

He had set the mysterious object down against the windowpane, taking one last look before he left Louis’ home for good.

Harry could remember that as if it were yesterday, though without really knowing the passing of time in the hospital, Harry was still clueless as to how long it had been.

He had checked himself in when he decided he needed to stop his aggressive behaviour once and for all. And he was going to become a better person even if it killed him.

Harry opened up right away, not particularly fond of the idea of hiding anything when he’d come here to get better. Plus, the sooner he opened up to strangers, the easier it would be for him to come out. If he did, that is…

“I’m not used to talking to people about my… feelings.” Was the first things Harry said to his therapist.

“Do you think maybe this is why you are angry a lot?”

“I don’t know… erm… I guess. You see, there was this… Person. I really enjoyed their company. But I couldn’t exactly be with them in public, because my friends… Well, they didn’t like them.”

“But you liked this person, correct?” He replied while he scribbled down notes.

“I think I loved him.” Harry let the last word slip, unable to care of hiding his gender preference.

“I see.” The therapist raised his eyebrows and jotted more notes down.

“Yes, well, but. Basically I wasn’t able to tell him that, and I said a few things and-” Harry’s voice broke as he choked on a sob and looked dejectedly to the side. He would never get over this feeling of helplessness and guilt. 

~

The minute Louis returned from the hospital, there was a welcoming party at his home. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to party, plus seeing all these strangers in his home didn’t incite much. They were probably only here because they felt sorry for Louis.

Pushing past the crowd of people, it was his goal to find his mum after spending so much time away from his family. He was just getting around the corner when he felt something grab him from behind.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Lou,” Eleanor muttered softly, pulling Louis into a warm and loving embrace.

Louis smiled through the hug, feeling the love already. These past few weeks had him void of any affection or any sympathy, and it was a relief to see that some people still cared for him.

“You are okay, aren’t you?”

Louis nodded his head slowly, feeling confident as he spoke. “Of course I am.”

“But Harry-”

“He’ll have to apologize eventually.”

Lines tensed on his friend’s forehead, and she backed away from Louis instantly, a look of betrayed scattered in her expression. “Wait, you’re really going to forgive him? After all he’s put you through?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Louis couldn’t bring himself to feel any pain when he thought of Harry. “He was just scared, El. It was all a misunderstanding, I’m sure of it.”

“Oh, you’re  _sure?”_  Eleanor raised the pitch of her voice, eyeing Louis carefully. “Just think about everything he’s done. He’s been rude to you from the start! Don’t think just because you two had a fling he’s suddenly going to change.”

“But he  _has_ changed,” Louis said, arguing his case. “Or he’s in the process of changing. The point is, I don’t want him feeling regret over this when he never meant for any of this to happen. I’m the one who took the pills, he didn’t stuff them down my throat.”

“But he’s not feeling regret,” she shot back, and Louis rolled his eyes, shooting her a look of confusion. He was completely distraught and unsure of Eleanor’s intentions. She heaved a breathy sigh and continued, “I saw him that day. I remember his exact words were, ‘That fucking queer should have died.’ I was lost after that. I was in the same boat as you until that moment. Then he said…” Eleanor paused, her head declining to the ground.

“What did he say?” Louis demanded, feeling a pit forming in his stomach.

She cleared her throat and looked back up, her face void of any emotion to indicate what she was feeling. She sighed again, preparing herself to quote Harry’s words.

“’If only his mum were a few minutes late, am I right?’”

Widening his eyes, Louis stepped back from his friend as the words took a toll on him. At first he was confused by the message but it didn’t take long to understand it clearly. Luckily, he found a wall behind him to steady himself. His head was spinning and Eleanor was simply standing there, watching as the horrors enfolded around him. The scab had ripped open now.

_Harry didn’t care about him._

Harry  _wanted_ him to die.

~

Harry stopped showing up to his therapy appointments a week later, feeling refreshed and ready to face Louis again. It had been much too long but hopefully it wasn’t too late to apologize.

His first attempt at speaking to Louis failed miserably, to say the least. He’d rang the doorbell multiple times until Louis’ mum ran to the door, immediately slamming it in his face. Though it was rude and uncalled for, Harry figured he deserved it.

He tried again the next day, and surprisingly, Jay took the time to actually listen to what he had to say.

Harry just wanted to talk to Louis, that was all. His mum had acted kinder than the previous day, letting him off easy by stating that it was best to leave Louis alone for now, that just because he was home now didn’t mean he had forgotten.

He didn’t bother Louis after that, deciding maybe it was for the best if he left Louis alone at least for now. But why on earth did Louis need so much time to recover? Hadn’t he been checked out of the hospital weeks ago?

Harry was forced to return to school by the next week. Every time he’d walk through the halls, he felt unwanted eyes on him, reminding him of what he did. Surprisingly, nobody seemed to care where Harry had been the past two weeks and it was obvious nobody cared to ask either.

Niall was the first to speak to him that day. Despite the fact that he was probably the last person Harry wished to speak to, he was still relieved that at least someone was acknowledging his existence.

“So how’s Louis?” Niall suddenly asked, causing Harry’s lungs to constrict at the thought of the other male.

“Fine.”

“Really?” Niall pretended to sound interested. “I hear he just got out of therapy?”

“Three weeks ago,” Harry muffled, keeping his head low as they walked.

 “Oh. Poor guy didn’t know what hit him.”

The curly-haired male clenched his fists, trying to hold back his anger and remembering the breathing exercises his therapist taught him. Niall needed to stop. Now.

“I hope he doesn’t come running back to you. I mean I can honestly see him coming back and begging to be yours again,” the Irishman pondered, his eyes dreamily hobbling off into space. “Getting down on all fours, begging for a second chance. And you’ll just hurt him again. And again.” He paused as they made their way to their lockers. Niall whispered into his ear, “And again.”

Harry’s fist suddenly collided with Niall’s face, sending his head flying to the left, his body crashing into the lockers as he sank to the ground. Panting heavily, Harry watched as blood covered the bottom of Niall’s nose and the Irishman was pressing his fingertips to it, staring down at them in bemusement.

“You love him, don’t you?” Niall managed to get out, his voice soft and shaky.

Harry’s focus remained on his friend, and suddenly he was paralyzed. He could hear voices behind him, taunting him for ‘hurting someone again’ but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Yes.”

And just like that, he stormed out of the school, leaving Niall who had been puzzled before now completely aware of the situation.

~

Louis stared at himself in the mirror for two hours.

The party was still going on downstairs and he could hear the music playing in the background. The sink was on and Louis was struggling to stick to reality as tears slipped down his face.

There weren’t words to express how Louis felt now. Numb, passive, upset, and those words did little to accurately portray Louis’ emotions. He was simply left with one question, one word best to say.

Why?

 _Why_?

WHY?

Harry had never meant to hurt him before, but what had changed? Had this been a game all along? Had Harry been trying to screw with him from the start?

Hot, angry tears soaked down his face, making his cheeks moist, his face red. He was inhaling and exhaling slowly, feeling as if about to have a panic attack. The anxiety was getting to him and he wasn’t sure he could handle the pain he was undergoing.

It took him two hours to fully calm himself down.

Louis didn’t care for the party, so he headed to his room, flicking on the lights the minute he stepped in. This was the first time he’d been in his room since the return, since being here was dangerous for his health.

His eyes scanned the room, seeing that nothing had changed, that everything had looked exactly normal, despite how much everything in his life had changed.

He dropped his body onto his bed, letting himself sink into the mattress. Rubbing his eyes clear from the remaining tears, he noticed something off with the room.

Leaning against the window were flowers, a bouquet of crumpled up, nearly dead flowers, and Louis found himself taken by it as he moved closer.

How long had they been here?

More importantly, who had brought it to him?

Barely giving it much thought, Louis already had a name in mind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

“So he told you he loved him?” Liam asked as he tossed a football in the air and caught it. “Like, those were his exact words?”

“Well, no. I asked him and he said ‘yes,’” Niall replied. He was sprawled out on his bed, holding an ice pack to his still-sore nose.

“Hmm. I knew it.” Liam smiled fondly at the symmetrical ball that now rested in his hands.

“You what? Why didn’t you tell me? Now I’ve made an arse of myself.” Niall propped himself up on his elbo to get a better look at Liam who was sitting on a beanbag chair.

“You were too wrapped up in your biggotry and social injustice. Plus you can be rather dense sometimes.” Liam smiled as his words went over the blonde’s head.

“Whatever. It’s not like I’m homophobic. Harry is still my friend.” Niall laid his head back on his pillow and stared at the unfocused ceiling.

Liam shifted slightly, unsure of his actions at first, but then gained confidence as he made his way to Niall’s bedside, standing on his knees.

“What are y-“

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to kiss a boy?” Liam interrupted him deliberately. 

“No…” Niall repositioned himself to a sitting position to feel less vulnerable. 

“Not once?” Liam prodded, their faces were at the same level now. “Harry and Louis obviously enjoyed it.”

Niall looked to the side slightly, eyes on his black and white blanket. Liam decided to risk a chance and put his hand behind the blonde’s head and pulled him close, pressing their lips together. Niall’s breath hitched as his blue eyes widened significantly. Liam couldn’t help the urgency he felt or the excitement that Niall hadn’t immediately pushed him away. He might have put too much force into the kiss because Niall shoved him away with a resounding “ow!” and rubbed his nose gingerly.

“I’m sorry,” Liam gasped out, still a bit out of breath.

“Sorry for hurting me, or sorry for kissing me?” Niall grumbled, but his face showed no sign of anger,

“For hurting you… Still not sure if I should be sorry about the kiss,” Liam replied softly.

“Well, I guess it would have been enjoyable if I didn’t have a broken nose,” Niall said as he looked away again. He quckly pulled a pillow over his lap, hoping Liam wouldn’t notice the bulge he had caused. Liam smiled and tackled him, going in for another kiss, trying to avoid Niall’s tender nose.

~~

Louis stared blankly at the front doors of the school. He was wearing his glasses today; either he was too lazy to put in his contacts, or he simply didn’t care enough.

He looked to the left of the stairs and felt an emptiness growing inside of him. He could almost invision the incident in his head.

“Hey, cutie.” Eleanor’s voice snapped him back to reality as she linked her arm with his.

They walked towards the chemistry room, Louis’ heart beating with both anticipation and anxiety. His expression dropped significantly when he noticed Harry’s seat was empty. He couldn’t tell if he was dreading or hoping that he was simply late. 

The day went by in a blur with no sign of Harry. 

When Louis and Eleanor separated to go their different ways, he couldn’t help but sigh in defeat. He was supposed to be the one ignoring Harry.

He opened his front door calmly and examined  his surroundings, remembering the last time he was there alone. He walked blindly to his room, still entranced in distant memories he know he shouldn’t be contemplating.

He gently stroked a hole in the wall where Harry had knocked down a picture from not being able to wait for the bedroom. Louis smiled fondly at the memory of the clumsy bloke and instantly shook his head in defeat.

_‘That fucking queer should have died.’_

_‘If only his mum had been a few minutes late, am I right?’_

Louis knew he hadn’t heard these words directly from Harry, but they still hurt him deep to his core. He could trust Eleanor, couldn’t he?

His bedroom door flew open and he tossed his bag and books to the floor. His eyes were instantly drawn to a splash of vivid colors on his bed.

Louis couldn’t help the excited buzz he felt taking over his insides as he examined the bouquet of daisies. He lifted them and sniffed them, smiling widely, taking comfort in the fact someone cared. He noticed a blank white card on his bed and sat down to examine it. He flipped the card over with empty hands.

“Sorry.” was written in an elegant scrawl across the card. Nothing more than that. Just “Sorry.”

Louis clutched the precious piece of parchment to his chest as tears streamed freely down his face. His gaze drifted toward the shriveled flowers he hadn’t had the heart to throw away.

_“I’ll be back tomorrow, Boo.”_

Harry hadn’t lied.

~~

“Hey, Harry,” Niall said carefully, examining his friend’s posture.

“Niall,” Harry said patiently, not looking away from the contents of his locker.

“Listen, I just wanted to say-“

“No, please don’t. I get it, I’m a queer and now you don’t want to hang out with me. I understand, but what I don’t understand is why you were a big enough reason to stay so hidden from the world and from myself. So don’t worry about it, Nialler. You’re the one that really lost here.” Harry went to walk away, but Niall caught him by the shoulder.

“Haz. Stop. I don’t not want to be your not friend… That sounded wrong. I want to be your friend still. There, that sounds better.” Niall scratched his head.

“You do? Even though I’m-“

“You could be an alien with five eyes for all I care. Well, actually no, I’d probably be scared of you then. But, what I’m trying to say is that I love you, man. But not in that way, because, you know, I’m totally straight obviously.” Niall’s words seemed to gel together.

“I love you too.” Harry wanted to hug the boy, but figured it would be too soon.

“Hey, guys.” Liam walked up behind Niall and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Whoa, Liam, getting a bit touchy there,” Niall said awkwardly as he moved away from the confused brunette.

“Oh. Right, I’m sorry,” Liam said, glaring slightly at the blonde.

“You two okay?” Harry asked with concern, he’d never seen them so tense around each other before. 

“Perfectly fine.” Liam left the other two and stalked toward his next class.

“So have you talked to him yet?” Niall asked Harry, his face genuine with concern.

“No.”

“But why? I don’t get it, didn’t you say you know…” Niall trailed off, gesturing with his eyebrows.

“Yes I did.”

“I see… I feel really bad about the whole thing actually. I feel like I antagonized a lot of it… But I was just trying to look cool I guess.” Niall rambled on and on about how he felt for Louis.

“Are you okay, Niall? You seem different.” Harry commented as the embarked on their walk to class.

“What? Yeah, fine. Totally fine.” Niall sighed as he trudged into Geometry, waving as Harry made a left toward the Chemistry room.

Stripes were the first thing that Harry noticed, and his heart fluttered instantaneously. He caught sight of a glare from Eleanor but shoved it away so he could look at the back of Louis’ head as he made his way toward his seat. He faced forward throughout the entire class, fighting every itching urge to turn and stare at the boy behind him.

~~

Louis was instantly taken aback by the sight of curls in front of him. He could stare at them for hours and not get anything done. Harry was still ignoring him; all Louis wanted was one moment of eye contact. One moment of strictly Harry to tell him everything was a big lie. Louis wasn’t getting any of that today, because Harry left as soon as the bell rang without a single glance toward Louis. 

Eleanor was so clingy. She clung to him in the hallways, she clung to him during lunch. Louis was almost glad to have five classes away from her. 

It was track and field day during gym class, but Louis was excused for medical reasons. Medically speaking, he didn’t want to run so he had his therapist write up a note for him. He sat on the side of the track, doodling aimlessly into a notebook, barely realizing he had written “Harry” out several times, so he threw it to the side.

His eyes were immediately drawn to Harry who was running around the track. Louis stared only momentarily, very aware of the eyes that were on him. Liam came huffing around the turn, extremely ahead of everyone. He saw Louis and began to wave, and decided to join him momentarily.

“Hey.” He spoke, sitting next to the awkwardly confused Louis.

“Hi?” He didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, he just wasn’t used to people like Liam voluntarily talking to him. Especially one of Harry’s friends.

“What were you doodling?” He asked casually.

“Nothing.” Louis instinctively clutched at his notebook.

“That’s not suspicious at all. You planning on blowing up the school or something?” Liam chuckled at his own joke while he took a gulp from his water bottle.

“Do people think that?” Louis asked in horror as he stared blankly ahead of him.

“What? No, no. It was a joke, I’m sorry! Listen, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Liam said, his tone turning from amused to serious.

“Um, okay. I’m listening.” Louis couldn’t help the apprehension that stuck to his voice.

“Okay, so you’re in love with Harry. And Harry is in love with you. That’s great and all, it really is. But why haven’t you spoken one word to each other yet?”

It took a moment for Liam’s words to sink over Louis.

“He what?” Louis’ voice cracked slightly.

“He loves you. Okay, that’s not entirely my point. So, say that you like someone, a lot. But they don’t want to show their affection to you outside of the bedroom?” Liam asked and sighed.

“Wow, that sounds familiar.” Louis said in a deadpan voice, still trying to process Liam’s previous statement.

“I guess it does, doesn’t it? See, I’m just confused as to how anyone would want to hide the way they feel…” Liam was lost in deep thought, as was Louis.

Zayn came jogging toward them, looking cautiously at Louis, as if he were a fragile china doll.

“Taking a break, Payne?” Zayn jokingly chided. “Careful, I might actually beat you this time.”

“Not on your life, Malik.” Liam smiled wickedly as he bounced up to his feet and bolted for the finish line.

~~

Niall kicked at the ground aggresively. He was alone, standing outside the school, aggressively kicking the ground. Niall was just aggressive and needed to kick something because he was frustrated and needed to kick something aggressively. 

This whole thing that had been going on with Liam was incredibly awkward to him. Awkward because he couldn’t express himself accurately because he was so awkward. Niall liked it when Liam kissed him, but he didn’t like the thought of being Liam’s boyfriend. If only Liam could just understand that too. 

“Fuck, I left my jacket.” Niall said to himself as he noticed the chilling breeze for the first time. 

He turned back toward the school, trying to remember where he had last had his jacket. Mentally retracing his steps, he found himself at the gym locker room. He caught sight of his jacket on the bench and grabbed it, noticing other clothing articles on the ground not too far from him, leading to the showers. 

Because Niall wasn’t very sharp, he was keenly interested as to why there was a trail of clothes. So he followed them, closing in on whispered giggles. His eyes widened as he heard trickling water and two male voices. 

“Liam, stop! You know that tickles.” Zayn? Niall wasn’t sure.

Regardless, Niall didn’t want to stay where he was. He couldn’t help the tight feeling he suddenly got in his chest at the mention of Liam’s name. Not watching where he was going, Niall tripped clumsily over clothes and loudly slammed into a locker.

“Aw, fuck!” He shouted as he grabbed his sore shoulder. He rolled it a few times, testing its level of pain. It was manageable.

“Niall?” Liam asked, looking stunning in only a towel and wet skin. 

“Oh, hi, Liam. I left my jacket here and I, um…” Niall gulped awkwardly. Because Niall was awkward, especially around an almost naked Liam.

“Did you figure out what the noise was?” Zayn asked as he came out of the shower as well. Niall couldn’t help the blatant blush that spread across his face.

“I should really leave.” Niall said. Again, awkwardly.

Aggressive and awkward. That was Niall.

“You don’t have to leave.” Liam told him, walking closer to Niall.

“Yeah, why don’t you join us…” Zayn said in an extremely seductive voice. 

“I don’t think tha-“

“Nialler.” Liam whispered into Niall’s ear. 

Zayn joined Liam next to Niall, tugging the collar of his form-fitting polo. Liam’s lips left Niall’s ear and planted onto his neck, causing an intense moan from Niall. Zayn mirrored Liam’s position, causing Niall’s head to fall back as his body was overcome with the feelings the other two’s hands were causing.

~~

Harry wasn’t expecting a knock on his door, and Harry certainly wasn’t expecting the knocker.

He simply stood there for a moment, taking in Louis’ appearance, not sure of exactly what to say. It seemed as though Louis wasn’t sure of what to say either.

“How did you know where I lived?” Harry asked.

“I used to stalk you, remember?” Louis joked casually.

“I thought that was a joke, oh my god.” Harry was impressed at how unawkward it seemed to talk to him again. Why had it taken this long?

“I think we need to talk.” Louis’ face was grave, and suddenly Harry knew exactly why he had waited this long. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

“I need to talk to you, too,” Harry admitted after a moment of silence passed between them. The other boy was crossing his arms, maintaining his nervous stance. Harry opened the door further, and gestured for the other boy to come inside. Harry paced himself, stumbling on his words, worried that anything he said would break Louis’ fragile state. 

“Louis,” he said his name for the first time in forever, almost forgetting the way it tasted on his tongue. “Listen, I’m so-”

“No, you listen,” Louis retorted, cutting him off. “If you think I’m here because I’m willing to forget anything happened, and that we just can kiss and make up like nothing else matters – I think we shouldn’t be a part of each other’s lives.”

Harry gulped, swallowing his words, struggling to formulate something to say quickly before this got out of hand. “Not until I fix this.”

“Just – stop!” Louis blinked hard, shooting a hand in front of his face, showing clearly just how annoyed he was. “You can’t fix anything because there’s nothing you can do to change anything! Got that?  _Nothing!”_

“Will you  _please_ just let me explain?” Harry cried out, his face growing red from the tears that were threatening to fall.

The feather-haired lad shook his head sadly, dropping his hands to his side. “I’m done, Harry. I-I can’t do this anymore.”

“You don’t have to,” Harry managed to get out, trying to ignore the tightening feeling in his throat. “Because I’m done too. I… erm… checked myself into therapy a few weeks back.” Louis was now fixed on Harry with sadness with his eyes. “I needed to fix my attitude, be less aggressive. Not just for you, but for me. For anyone else’s sake. I can’t keep living this way.” Harry’s voice shook with the absolute helplessness he felt.

“I just-” Louis began, but stopped once sobs had escaped his mouth, muffling his words together. His face was red and moist and he was panting excessively. Harry wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and make everything better. “I can’t love someone who wants me dead.”

“I – you – what… What?” Harry breathed the words out, frowning with complete puzzlement in his expression. The unfathomable look on Louis’ face was what caught him the most; Louis was one-hundred percent serious. “I don’t – I… How could you even think that? What?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know! Eleanor told me everything,” Louis gritted his teeth, tears soaking his cheeks.

“Eleanor?” Harry’s frown grew more intense as he tried to understand the situation completely. “She told you – what?”

Louis was now wailing, completely bawling out every emotion he felt. He could hardly stand being around Harry, and now he was even trying to deny wanting him to die. Louis couldn’t take it, he wasn’t sure what to say to make this all stop.

Harry’s arms were suddenly over the other boy, wrapping their bodies together. Louis fought to break free, but Harry tightened his grasp causing his cries to increase. The curly-haired lad patted Louis on the back, waiting until his tears succumbed to speak.

“How could you think,” Harry began to say, but couldn’t find it in himself to continue as a tear finally broke loose. “How could you think – even for a minute – that I could  _ever_  wish death upon you?” His hands were trembling and he could hardly gather his thoughts properly to soothe the still-crying boy in his arms.

“’That fucking queer should have died,’” Louis spoke the words aloud, feeling a sinking in his heart as seconds passed. “Does that ring a bell?”

“I’m going to murder whoever said that,” Harry spat out angrily, finding it hard to believe he used to be that narrow-minded himself.

Louis was now pressing his face into Harry’s shirt, his sobs muffled against the fabric. “But-” Louis stuttered, fighting to speak between his cries. “Y-you did! E-Eleanor told me!”

“Why do you believe everything you hear?” Harry shot back, hating that Louis was so naïve when it came to Eleanor. “Did it ever cross your mind that she was lying? That she  _wants_ us apart?”

“S-she wouldn’t do that.”

“She likes you, Louis. It’s so obvious,” he assured him, wondering how Louis had been so blind to not notice that.

“But she doesn’t like me like that! And even if she did, she wouldn’t try to sabotage anything!” Louis argued, but thought upon Harry’s words. It was true that Eleanor acted a bit… strange around him. And maybe Louis had ignored her behaviour since it was her job to treat him like her boyfriend, but maybe there was something more she had in mind. Even then, Eleanor wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.

Louis’ thoughts came to a halt when he felt a pair of lips smash into his, causing him to forget every thought and losing himself completely in Harry. The kiss reeked of desperation and was possibly the sloppiest kiss they shared but the two of them were so eager for each other that nothing else mattered.

Harry’s hands were wrapping around Louis’ neck, sending shivers trailing down his back and suddenly, Louis was more scared than ever. Though it was the last thing he wanted, he pulled himself back from Harry, snapping his eyes shut as he tried to ignore the empty feeling lingering over his mouth.

He was panting heavily, taken away by that sudden lip-lock. Louis leaned against the wall, trying his best not to look at Harry. He knew Harry only kissed him to remind him of what he couldn’t have, and for that Louis hated him all the more.

“Trust me, Lou. I know her, I even saw this coming,” Harry tried to convince him, thinking back on the times when Eleanor berated him for hurting Louis.

“I-I have to go,” Louis forced the words out. Tears hastily fell down his face as he gulped hard. “Bye…”

Harry sighed softly, his breathing growing more rigid as he watched Louis walk toward the door. Looks like this was it. No more Louis, no more happiness for Harry. He had really fucked up this time.

“By the way,” he said, Louis glancing back toward him before opening the door, “I gave you those flowers.”

Louis was standing still, his face flushing incredulously. Harry turned away, unable to watch Louis leave him again, when he felt a hand pull him back from behind, and suddenly he was crushed into Louis’ chest, feeling arms trace around his back. Harry allowed himself to cry out of pure confusion and frustration, still trying to figure out why Louis was being so complicated when it was so easy to just fix everything.

With a spark of hope welling inside him, he found himself smiling sheepishly when they pulled away from the hug, staring into each other’s eyes.

Neither said anything for a while until Louis finally breathed out, “I miss you, Harry.” He paused, but didn’t leave Harry enough time to respond. And it literally killed him to say what he said next. “But… I just can’t be with you anymore.”

~

“Wait, Harry!”

Harry kept walking, not in the mood to deal with Niall’s bullshit. But then again, when was he up for it?

“Harry!” Niall repeated, grabbing onto his shoulder to get him to stop walking. Harry crossed his arms, mentally preparing himself not to hurt his ‘friend’ again. Niall’s eyes wavered from the floor then back to Harry. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” Harry wasn’t sure he heard him right. Had Niall actually apologized? And what for?

“I said I’m sorry,” Niall repeated, confirming that yes, he had actually said it. “For everything. I didn’t know you and Louis were together and I guess it was all too much to handle at once, and… I got carried away.” The Irishman dropped his hands to his sides, watching his friend apologetically. “I’m truly sorry, Harry.”

“Well thanks for apologizing and all, but that’s not gonna help with anything,” Harry said lowly. “He still hates me.”

“I doubt that…”

“No, he really does. Believe me, Niall. He does.”

“Have you tried talking to him?” Niall asked with concern in his voice.

“Yeah. It’s just… it’s complicated,” Harry said flatly, and his friend nodded in understanding.

Smiling with support, Niall set his hand over Harry’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

~

Niall wasn’t counting on it to happen again. He especially didn’t expect himself to join in again. Of course, granted he had been forced into it last time, though he hadn’t minded in the slightest.

It was too weird to think about, really. Honestly, having a threesome wasn’t really a big deal. People did it all the time. Well, maybe it was just that Niall rushed into it when he should have started with fucking one guy instead of going straight to two, but still, it was… great. He just didn’t understand how it worked. What would happen if they grew feelings for each other? What would become of that? A relationship was meant to be for two people, not three.

Niall rolled around in his bed, ready to shut his eyes for the night and rest. To say the least, he was drunk as fuck and so were his other friends. They were at Zayn’s house and had the place to themselves. It wasn’t too exciting at first since this happened often (being left home alone), and the boys usually drowned themselves in alcohol simply for the hell of it. It was until they felt like absolute shit that they allowed themselves to crash for the night and wake up feeling even worse.

However, this night was different.

Through the thin walls, Niall thought he was hearing the sound of something thumping against the ground but he could be easily mistaken. He pressed his pillow to his ears, trying to block out the noise.

At first he assumed Zayn’s pipes were making the sound since he didn’t live in the newest or nicest house, but once he heard pants and even some shouts(?) through the walls, he knew that was most definitely not from the pipes.

And then he heard, “Shh! Keep it down, Zayn!”

With a roll to his eyes, he rolled to his side trying his best to block out the noise that followed after. He knew there was definitely nothing going on between them, romantic-wise. However, they had definitely crossed over the friend zone and into friends with benefits, or rather part time fuck buddies. And Niall fell in there somehow.

Niall’s eyes were just beginning to shut after he repeated words of assurance to himself, that this would all stop sooner or later and he could sleep away his throbbing headache, except that it  _didn’t stop_ and Niall found himself stepping out of his bed minutes later mumbling “oh for fuck’s sake” under his breath, ready to scold at them for keeping him up.

He made his way down the hall, following the source of the sound. His head still throbbing, he strew the door open and nearly fainted at the sight of Liam on top of Zayn, Zayn’s legs dangling over Liam’s body, their bodies bouncing together over the sheets. Niall made his way into the room, trying to hide his show of arousal that was completely inappropriate considering how tired he felt.

“Oh, hey – ugh! Niall!” Zayn hollered between moans as the Irish lad tried to peel his eyes away from the sight.

Instead, he was staring with amusement, unknowingly beginning to palm himself through his boxers. His mouth gaping, observing as Liam ran his tongue down the other boy’s chest, and suddenly the fabric was becoming too much for Niall.

“Well don’t just stand there!” Liam gasped out, his eyes averting toward him. “Join in!”

His intentions now forever forgotten, Niall didn’t think twice as he shrugged off his boxers, running them past his full-blown erection. Moving hastily, he comfortably shifted his body onto the bed as the other two boys moved apart to make room for him.

With Zayn’s mouth over his length and Liam fucking him from behind, Niall couldn’t think of anything else but how right this felt despite how wrong it might have been.

~

Harry went through the next day at school with hopes that he could turn his life around. Except it didn’t help that nobody would look at him other than to glare at him or whisper things about him to their friends, and that was definitely worse than being ignored.

He managed to shrug it off for the first few hours, reminding himself that this couldn’t last forever, but during Chemistry when he’d dismissed himself to use the restroom, he spent about ten minutes crying his eyes out in the nearest stall, telling himself he deserved every bit of torture.

Harry was planning on sitting with Niall at lunch since they made up the previous day, and maybe his sense of humour could even cheer Harry up a little. However, Niall was already sitting with Zayn and Liam and three of them looked unusually happy in a way Harry couldn’t exactly describe and he didn’t exactly want to intervene when he was nothing but a burden to them.

Instead, he somehow found himself sitting next to Eleanor. Surprisingly, she wasn’t sitting with Louis, instead, by herself. Perhaps she was waiting for Louis to join her?

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hey,” Harry managed to get out, keeping his anger subsided once he recalled what Louis had told him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, anything,” the brunette said with an approving nod.

“Why did you lie to Louis?”

She blinked repeatedly, eyeing Harry suspiciously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do,” he assured her, resting a hand to the side of his tray. When he only received a frown as a response, he continued to say, “It’s because you like him, isn’t it?”

Eleanor’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, and Harry knew he wasn’t imagining it. “As a friend, yes-”

“No, we’re past that, am I right? You’re head over heels for him, aren’t you?”

“Oh, sod off,” she shot back, a grimace playing on her face. “Why do you care anyway? You don’t even love him.”

Harry clenched his fists, trying to hold back the aggression. “I-”

“Oh, please, Harry.” Eleanor rolled her eyes, flipping back her wavy locks. “If you did, you wouldn’t have treated him so badly.”

That’s when he finally broke. Slamming his fists down on the table, causing his tray to jump slightly, he pushed his chair back and stood up, alerting the brunette’s attention just slightly. And if that wasn’t alarming enough, Harry had placed a foot over his chair until he gathered the strength to stand up.

Confidence rushing through him and all eyes glued to him, the words belted out of Harry like there was nothing holding back. “I love him!” He shouted out, pausing for a moment as his classmates exchanged words with one another. His eyes were glued to Eleanor as he began his next sentence. “Do you hear me? I love Louis Tomlinson! Call me a fag, say I’m going to hell, I don’t care. I love him and that’s all that matters.”

His gaze wandered around the cafeteria until he saw the familiar blue orbs shot his way. Louis’ face was expressionless but it was different than the other blank-faced students. It almost made Harry hopeful that Louis believed him. And he was half convinced until he saw the feather-headed boy storming out of the cafeteria.

“Don’t go!” Harry hollered, still the center of attention. He quieted his voice, stooping down onto the ground. “Please don’t go.”

“Harry, I can’t-” Louis begged, desperation in his voice.

“I can’t live without you, Louis. I need you in my life,” Harry sputtered out, grabbing onto both of his hands, pulling him close. “ _Please_ , Louis.”

Louis was staring at him absentmindedly, unsure which would win first, his mind or his emotions. His emotions told him yes, but his mind was keeping him in check.

Taking it as his last approach, Harry connected their lips hastily as he pressed their bodies closely together, making sure they were perfectly visible to everyone in the cafeteria.

And surprisingly, the only part that bothered Harry was the point where they had to break away from the kiss. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

Liam sighed as he gazed at the picture frame in his hand. It held a photo that had been taken a few months back. Three pairs of smiling eyes looked back at Liam; strong brown eyes, bewildered blue eyes, and Liam’s own. He groaned slightly. How could he let this have happened? He enjoyed the intimate time he spent with Niall and Zayn, but his heart ached for something more. He couldn’t love both of them at the same time, could he? That was impossible, but why did his heart clench at the thought of leaving one of them behind

Liam tossed the picture to the side and carelessly stuffed it beneath his pillow as someone knocked on his bedroom door.  
  
“Liam, honey, Niall is here to see you.” His mom poked her head in and opened the door the rest of the way to let Niall through.  
  
“Hey, Nialler.” Liam smiled from his sitting position on his bed.  
  
“Hey, Li.” Niall walked further into Liam’s room.  
  
“Liam, I was called in to work. Are you okay with me leaving you two alone?” Liam’s mom asked nervously.  
  
“Mum, I’m eighteen, almost nineteen. I’ll be fine.” Liam sighed and gave a distressed look to a silently laughing Niall, trying not to laugh as well thinking back on his mom’s words.   
  
Once they had the house to themselves, Niall was quick to find Liam’s zipper, pulling his pants down hastily with no time to spare. Anticipation coursing through them both, Liam found himself backing away from the blonde-haired lad with determination in his eyes.   
  
Niall just laughed at him, thinking this was simply a game of hard-to-get. As he started to go down on the other boy, Liam sighed loudly, trying to forget how perfect Niall’s mouth felt over him.   
  
“Niall, I have something to tell you,” he managed to get out between gasps, hoping his words would get Niall to back off from him. “Later, Niall…” Liam told him, looping his hands in the luscious, dirty-blonde locks. Suddenly aware he was willingly letting Niall continue, he huffed a loud breath and pulled himself away. “Seriously.”  
  
With bright blue orbs striking him from below, Liam found it difficult to continue. He gulped, avoiding how intently the other boy was gazing at him.   
  
“Niall,” he repeated in a soft voice. “Do you love me?”  
  
Niall looked at him in confusion. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had heard him right. Love? Since when did this have to do with love? Niall relaxed his position, sitting on his feet and looking to the side.   
  
“Niall.” Liam swallowed, afraid that he had said the wrong thing.   
  
“Liam, I-”  
  
“Just forget I said anything,” Liam gushed out, wanting nothing more than to be able to turn back time.  
  
“Liam, I’m not gay.” Niall blurted.  
  
Liam couldn’t help the quick spurt of laughter that erupted from his lungs. What was Niall on about now?  
  
“Shut up! I’m trying to say that I’m not gay. I’m not gay, but when I’m with you… and Zayn, I feel something… Special.” Niall sighed heavily.   
  
“But only with both of us.” It wasn’t a question, because Liam felt as if he knew the answer. Niall repositioned himself on the floor, crossing his legs. He stared at his hands momentarily, then looked up at Liam and raised a brow.   
  
“You’re the one who started the threesomes.”   
  
“But you joining in was voluntary,” Liam argued, paying little attention to the blush spreading on Niall’s cheeks.   
  
The Irish lad shook his head violently, getting rather irritated with this conversation. “You guys practically assaulted me! Besides, what does that have to do with anything? You asked me if I loved you, not you and Zayn.”  
  
“Well, do you?” Liam looked Niall in the eyes, his heart beating like a mini drum.   
  
“I’m not gay.” Niall said again flatly. “But I think I might, possibly… maybe…” His words trailed off as he broke away from Liam’s gaze.   
  
Liam shifted and found his way to the floor. He was on his knees and leaned toward Niall, placing his lips next to his ear. His voice was shaky with anticipation and Niall seemed almost completely shut down.   
  
“It’s okay, Nialler.” He whispered, sending chills down Niall’s spine. “Take your time.”  
  
“Why do you have to be so - so-” Niall couldn’t find the words to say and it certainly didn’t help that Liam’s hot breath was hitting his skin, making him lose focus of anything else. “You just make me feel so… Why is it so hard for me to express myself? Ugh!”    
  
Liam watched as the blonde unraveled, lost in his emotions. He reached out to stroke the blonde locks, a frown playing on his lips.  
  
“Just tell me you love me.” He couldn’t help the sadness that lined his voice. Sadness and fear, fear that Niall would never be able to love him, and sadness that his thoughts were so close to becoming reality. He almost wanted to stop time. He wanted to be stuck in that moment for the rest of his life.   
  
“I-”   
  
Liam didn’t let him finish. He smashed his lips to Niall’s, not caring what Niall was going to say. He furtively removed Niall’s shirt, running his hands down the smoothness of his chest. Niall returned the gesture, moving his lips to Liam’s neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin there.   
  
“That tickles!” Liam shouted. He tackled the other boy to the ground, his hands trailing down to the button on his pants.   
  
Liam was snapped back to reality when he heard his phone buzzing on his bedside table. He seriously considered ignoring it, but being the responsible adult he was, he groaned and released Niall from his grasp. Niall pouted as he stood up and sat on the bed, stretching and scratching at the possible rugburn.   
  
Liam didn’t recognize the incoming number, but answered it anyway.  
  
“This is Liam.” He tried to sound pleasant, but he was extremely impatient considering the blonde that was staring at him questioningly. Niall took off his pants, and Liam tried not to laugh at the boxers covered in shamrocks.  
  
“Liam? Hey. This is Louis.”  
  
“Louis? How did you get my-”  
  
“Nevermind that, I really need to talk to you.” Louis said in a rush.   
  
“Can it wait?” Liam looked Niall up and down. He was laying back now, staring at Liam invitingly.  
  
“Not really… I don’t have much time.” Louis’ voice sounded pleading.  
  
“It can’t wait even twenty minutes?” Liam groaned at the aching hard on he felt in his pants.  
  
“No.” Louis’ voice sounded close to tears.  
  
“Okay…” Liam sighed. Always the nice guy. But he had to admit that Louis had listened to him about Niall that one time. “Where are you?”  
  
“I’m at Starbucks. Come alone, please?” Louis said softly.   
  
“I’ll be there soon.” Liam looked longingly at Niall, but turned away and hung up.  
  
“I have to go, so I’d appreciate it if you’d put your clothes back on so that I’m not tempted to stay.”   
  
“How long will you be? Can I come with you?” Niall felt like a clingy puppy.  
  
“No, it’s personal stuff. I’ll see you later.” Liam leaned in and gave Niall one last lingering kiss.  
  
~~  
  
Louis was sitting at a table, tapping his fingers frantically on the hard surface. There were tears threatening to leave his eyes.  
  
“Louis?” Liam asked with concern as he sat at a chair opposite from him.  
  
“Oh, hi. I really didn’t know who else to call. Eleanor would have freaked out too much, and Harry, well… Harry’s the reason that I’m dreading what I’m about to say.” Louis rambled, his eyes full of grief and sorrow.  
  
“What’s going on? You haven’t had another… incident… have you?” Liam’s heart stuttered. He was happy to know that he was on Louis’ list of people to call.  
  
“No. But they don’t want me to.” Louis face was blank as he looked at Liam.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“My therapist told my mom ‘It would be best if we could send him to a different school. A special school, for other kids who have been through what he has.’” Louis’ voice cracked as he looked to the side, a single tear rolling down his cheek.  
  
“You have to change schools? So what, that’s not too bad. You and Harry can still get together afterwards.” Liam didn’t see a problem.  
  
“The school isn’t anywhere near here. I have to move into a dorm, and I won’t even be able to visit my mum and sisters.”   
  
“Oh.” Liam wasn’t sure exactly what to say.   
“I don’t want Harry to know…” Louis said with a sob stuck in his throat. He was trying to keep his emotions in check, considering they were in a public place.   
  
“But do you have to go?” Liam’s heart felt heavy with sadness. Any problems he had experienced himself were nothing compared to this level of tragedy.   
  
“It’s not really my choice. My mum said she wants what’s best for me.”   
  
Liam reached out and grabbed Louis’ hand in comfort. He knew how much he loved Harry, which made his feelings toward this situation all the worse. He wished he could help, he didn’t know what he could do.  
  
“Why did you call me?” Liam asked, putting pieces of a puzzle together in his head.   
  
“I just needed someone to know… You know, before I disappear forever.”  
  
“What if you convinced your mother otherwise, asked her to stay?” Liam grasped at any possibility.  
  
“You don’t think I tried?” Louis asked in exasperation.   
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“It’s not your fault… Thanks for listening. You seemed kind of busy when I called.”  
  
“A bit.” Liam smiled inwardly.   
  
“Anyway, I should probably head back home. I kind of left in a hurry after she broke the news to me.” Louis said as he stood up.   
  
“Okay… I’m sorry that this is happening.” Liam said as he stood up as well. He hugged the other boy, much to Louis’ surprise. His heart broke a bit at the thought that he and Louis could have been friends this whole time.   
  
“Bye, Liam.” Louis said when he pulled away and wiped the waterfall of tears from his eyes.   
  
“Bye, Louis.” Liam couldn’t help the tears in his eyes as he watched the other boy leave.  
  
~~  
  
“Harry!” Came a cry, there was a heavy knocking on his door, causing Harry to jump and ripping him from his sleep.  
  
“Wha s’it?”  Harry said groggily as he opened his front door. His distraught expression turned hard.  
  
“Liam. It’s Sunday. I’m sleeping in, because it’s Sunday! This damn well better be important.” Harry said as he crossed his arms. He was in nothing but his boxers, but he didn’t seem to care.  
  
“It is important.” Liam felt awful for disobeying Louis’ wishes, but he couldn’t just stand around while nothing was being done about the situation. “It’s about Louis.”  
  
“Is he okay?” Harry was immediately on the defensive, that fighting spirit gave Liam hope.   
  
“He’s fine, but you won’t be once he has to leave.”   
  
“Once he has to… what?”  
  
~~  
  
“Hey, Niall.” Zayn winked at Niall as he passed him in the locker room.  
  
“Hi.” Niall wasn’t exactly sure what to do about the tanned skin boy that brushed his back as he made his way past. Niall simply watched as he walked into the showers. He was so unaware of what had happened between him and Liam the day before.   
  
It was an uneasy feeling as Niall realized he didn’t want Liam to touch Zayn anymore. He tried to shake the notion, knowing that it was too late. Niall wanted Liam to himself. He quickly finished changing and left the locker room, angry tears threatening to escape.   
  
When he was alone in the hallway he punched a locker and brought his hands to his head. Why was he acting like this? Niall wasn’t used to such emotions, and it embarrassed him to feel so… so helpless.    
  
As Niall noticed someone approaching, he quickly wiped at the tears he had recently experienced.  
  
“Niall?” Niall wasn’t expecting the voice to address him, so he turned around with a confused expression.  
  
“Oh, hey Louis…” Niall gave up trying to cover the fact he had been crying.  
  
“Um… Are you…” Louis tried to get over the awkwardness of talking to the other boy.  
  
“Fine, yeah, I’m fine.” A new wave of emotion swept over Niall as he leaned back against a locker and slid to a sitting position. “No I’m not, everything’s fucked.”  
  
“Wanna talk about it?” Louis’ face was warm as he took a seat on the cold tile next to the emotional boy.  
  
“I’m not sure.” Niall said in complete seriousness.  
  
“You can trust me.” Louis gave him a soft and understanding smile.  
  
“Well, you see…” Niall let open the floodgates. “I’ve been sleeping with Zayn and Liam, like, together. A threesome, you know? It was all fine and everything, we all got along, and we still do, it’s not like there’s been a falling out or anything. Like, the whole thing started with Liam kissing me, then the next thing you know, me and Liam are fooling around and then I walk in on them showering together and then I joined them and then I think somewhere along the lines I fell in love with Liam. Liam is my best mate, you know? But how am I supposed to tell him that, especially when Zayn still wants to fool around with us. But the thing is, I don’t want Zayn to fool around with us, I just want Liam. And the thought of Liam touching Zayn just-ugh!-it pisses me off!”  
  
Louis sat still for a moment, letting the information sink in. He chuckled inwardly at the irony of the situation and how the tables had dramatically turned.  
  
“Have you told Liam this?” Louis’ voice was full of support, and it gave Niall a jumbled-up-inside feeling.  
  
“Not in… so many words.” Niall sighed as he looked at his hands.  
  
“Liam probably won’t stop messing around with Zayn until you do. And what if Zayn gets to it first? Then you’ll be the one left alone.”  
  
Louis’ words hit Niall like a wrecking ball, his face showing his extreme discomfort at the thought.  
  
“I have to go.” Niall scrambled to his feet and ran off.   
  
Louis simply smiled as he watched the other boy leave, glad he could help.   
  
~~  
  
Knock, knock!  
  
They were hasty and forced knocks, causing slight alarm to Jay as she made her way to the door. The knocker was just as alarmed when she answered, his green eyes widening slightly. He had his hands in his pockets and he was shifting his feet nervously. The gentle breeze shifted his curls around slightly.  
  
“Um, Louis isn’t here at the moment…” She began.  
  
“I’m not here for Louis.” Harry cut her off. “I’m here for you.”  
  
“Me?” Jay’s face displayed her confusion accurately. “I don’t know why you wo-”  
  
“Louis can’t leave.” Harry said, getting straight to the point. Jay’s face hardened only momentarily.  
  
“I appreciate your concern, bu-”  
  
“You don’t understand!” Harry blurted out, interrupting her for the third time.  
  
“I think I do.” She wasn’t smiling, or showing bewilderment anymore.  
  
“I was the reason he took those pills.” Harry’s voice broke with a sob. “It was me, it was all my fault.”  
  
“Is this some sort of sick joke?” Jay’s voice rose with disgust.  
  
“The only sick joke is you taking the one thing that I love more than anything away from me! Your son is the most caring, most hilarious, most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. I love him more than anything, and now he ju- you can’t just… He can’t just leave me.” Harry’s eyes shined with the refugee tears that were making their way to blotch his white T-shirt.  
  
“You’re Harry, I’m guessing?” Jay’s face seemed less tense now, but still on the offensive.  
  
“How did yo-”  
  
“When I stayed at the hospital with Louis those first few weeks, he would speak in his sleep. Scream and shout, more precisely. A ‘Harry’ came up the most. ‘Harry, why?’ ‘Harry, how could you?’ But more often than not, it was ‘Harry, I love you.’” Jay stood there for a long time, watching Harry’s reaction.  
  
“I just… I love him too.” Harry finally responded, after his tears had subsided enough to get words out.  
  
“But how will I know you won’t hurt him again?”   
  
The question lingered in between the two for several minutes. Harry unable to think of a proper response, and Jay simply overcome with emotion for her son.  
  
“You’ll just have to trust him, mum.” Came a soft voice from behind her, her eyes widened when she turned around to face her son.  
  
“Louis, how long have you been standing there?” Jay asked in shock.  
  
“I don’t want to go to that school, mum. I don’t want to leave.” Louis looked his mother in the eyes. “I lo-“  
  
“No.” Her voice was cold and misplaced.   
  
“Mum.” Louis’ voice almost cracked.  
  
“I said no.” Jay slammed the door shut, and Harry felt as though his whole life was crashed to a close.  
  
He could hear muffled complaints and shouts on the other side of the thick wood as he pressed his head to the door. He was so close to getting everything back, but of course something else had to go wrong.   
  
That was Harry’s undeniable luck. He stalked away angrily, unsure if he’d seen the last of his Boobear or not.  
  
  
~~  
  
“Liam, I love you and only you.” Niall said aloud, disgruntled at how awkwardly the words left his mouth. He was alone, pacing the sidewalk outside of Liam’s house.   
  
“Liam, I want to be the only one you fuck. Not that I love you or anything, I just…” Niall threw his hands in the air in defeat. He was ready to walk back home when Louis’ words rang in his head again.  
  
“And if Zayn gets to him first? Then you’ll be left alone.”  
  
Niall marched toward the front door with a new sort of determination.   
  
“Niall?” Liam asked when he answered the door.  
  
“Are you home alone?” Niall’s eyes looked around Liam’s shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, wha-”  
  
Liam wasn’t able to finish, because Niall’s lips were suddenly glued to his. A burning fiery passion exploded between them as Liam was pushed against a side table, causing the lamp to fall off and dangle by its cord. Niall went in for the neck-Liam’s weak spot- and avidly licked circles. Liam couldn’t help the stifled moan this caused.  
  
“Liam, I…” Niall breathed.  
  
“Niall.” Liam’s eyes were dark with lust as he stared at the other boy. Niall swallowed, unable to say the next words he had came here to say.  
  
Niall went for Liam’s shirt, piling it over his head and immediately making contact with his lips again. He pulled Liam down to the floor with him, hastily removing his shirt and pants. He wanted Liam, and he wanted him that instant. He laid back as Liam hovered over him, taking control of the situation as he usually did. He took Niall by the wrists and held them to the floor above his head. His lips hovered dangerously close above Niall’s.  
  
“Say my name.” Liam whispered seductively.  
  
“Liam.” It was a small squeak.  
  
“Louder.” Liam cocked his head to the side as his lips curled ever so slightly into a mischievous smile.  
  
“Liam!” Niall said significantly louder, his voice fading into a whimper as his legs wiggled. Liam lowered his head to kiss Niall softly. The kiss increased in intensity, as if it were a crescendo in an orchestrated piece of music.   
  
Liam’s groin was in line with Niall’s as he gyrated his hips to rub against the other boy. Niall wanted to explode, but all the power rested in Liam, and Liam wasn’t ready for that yet. He released Niall’s arms, grabbed his legs and positioned them over his shoulder. He smiled intensely at the vulnerability of the other boy. The mere sight of Niall’s defenseless and innocent expression was almost enough to send Liam over the edge.   
  
He hastily unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down just far enough for his raging erection to break free. It rested gently against Niall, who was squirming with impatience. He stared down at the boy for a moment, watching his eyes.  
  
“I love you.” He breathed out, as he continued his previous endeavors.  
  
Niall’s eyes widened while they were locked with the brunette’s. He had the words trapped in his throat. If only he could just say what he wanted to say. He broke the connection of their gazes and looked dejectedly to the side. Liam felt a tightness in his chest yet again as he watched the other reject his affection.   
  
Niall stared at the point where the wall met the floor as Liam began to fuck him. Niall couldn’t help the intensity he felt during the experience as he looked up at the other boy. He pulled him down so that he could passionately kiss him, completely overwhelmed with the painfully pleasurable feeling. He could feel when he was about to explode. His toes curled and his back became arched.   
  
It was as though he practically did explode when he reached his first climax.  
  
“I love you, too!” He shouted at the peak of his orgasm.  
  
Liam stared down at the blonde, panting heavily and sweat forming on his brow. He simply smiled that sensitive and knowing smile. He stood up and helped the other boy up.  
  
“I’m not done with you yet, you big queer.” He shoved him into his bedroom.  
  
~~  
  
Harry sat silently at the park bench. He couldn’t get Louis’ horrified expression just before his mum had shut the door. He buried his face in his hands, unable to keep a solemn expression on his face. He felt tears pooling in his palms; he felt so helpless and lost.  
  
He jumped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He avidly wiped the moisture from his eyes before looking up.  
  
“Louis?”  
  
“Hey, Haz.” He smiled gently as he brushed stray curls from Harry’s eyes.  
  
“Why are you here?”  
  
“It’s not like my mum is keeping me locked in the house. Plus I kind of left without her realizing.” Louis laid his head on Harry’s shoulder, just wanting to feel his warmth. Harry responded by wrapping his arm around him.  
  
“So you’re leaving me.” Harry said, slightly out of breath from the thought.  
  
“I guess I am.” Louis sighed in response. He couldn’t get over how unfair everything was. He just wanted to stay in this exact position forever.  
  
“Could you come over to mine tonight?” Harry asked gingerly. “ My mum is away on business.”  
  
“I’ve never even met your mum.” Louis said, feeling more upset than ever.  
  
“Well, maybe one day. It’s not like the school is going to keep you away forever. Plus, can’t you come home for summer?” Harry inquired.  
  
“That is true.” Louis said feeling slightly uplifted.  
  
“You just have to promise me not to fall for any of the depressed freaks over there.”  
  
“Is that what you think I am?” Louis’ face was mortified.   
  
“What? No! I mean, they are. But not you, you don’t even need to be going there.” Harry tried to dig his way out of the hole he’d fallen in. He sighed in relief as Louis laughed at his reaction.   
  
Harry studied Louis’ face as he laughed. There was a crinkle in his nose and a gleam in his eyes. He couldn’t think of any other place he’d rather be.   
  
“I love you.” Harry said, causing Louis to stop laughing abruptly.  
  
“I’ve been waiting for so long for you to say that.” Louis replied.  
  
“I said it in the cafeteria.” Harry commented.  
  
“No, you said ‘I love Louis fucking Tomlinson.’ And that was way different than what you said just now.” Louis scooted as close to Harry as he could. He stared at the curly-haired boy in wonder, not quite sure how he’d gotten to this point.  
  
“Well, are you going to say it back?” Harry crossed his arms, leaning away from him.  
  
“What? Oh. Well, of course I love you, too.” Louis didn’t see how it was ever a question.  
  
Harry looked down at the feather haired lad and smiled widely. He couldn’t do the whole playful banter anymore, he just had to kiss him. So he did, and he did it hard. Louis found his hands lost in Harry’s curls as Harry leaned into the other boy, always playing for dominance. They noticed movement in the corner of their eyes, so they broke apart.  
  
A young boy stared at them with wide eyes. Harry and Louis separated and scooted to either sides of the bench. When the boy scurried away and back to the park, they both laughed hysterically.   
  
“See you tonight, boo.” Harry said as he got up and kissed him on the forehead.   
  
“Yeah.” Louis grabbed for his hand, not wanting to ever let it go.   
  
~~  
  
“Where did you go?” Jay asked, her hands placed on her hips.  
  
“Out…” Louis replied simply.   
  
“Louis, I only want what’s best for you.”   
  
“What’s best for me?” Louis’ voice almost cracked as he heard those ridiculous words. “You think what’s best for me is to send me away to some school? To people I hardly know?”  
  
“Louis, I-”  
  
“It was hard enough to come out at my own school, to people that I’ve known practically my whole life.” Louis felt his anger rising. “How hard do you think it will be to do the same to strangers?”  
  
“Sweetheart…”  
  
“Don’t, mum. Just don’t. You’re ripping me away from everything I’ve known. But that’s what is best for me, right?” Louis stalked to his room and slammed the door shut. He grabbed a pair of clothes for the next day, along with a toothbrush and threw them in his bag.  
  
“Where are you going?” Jay asked when he had returned to the living room.  
  
“Out.” He replied as he opened the front door. “And don’t expect me home tonight.”   
  
The door slammed shut, and Jay looked at the floor at a loss.   
  
~~  
  
Louis’ lips formed a smile as they were pressed against Harry’s. He couldn’t help but feel as though they fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Kissing Harry helped him forget about his mum and how guilty he felt for leaving. He told himself it was the right thing to do. She was, after all, sending him away.   
  
Harry was mumbling something against his mouth that Louis couldn’t hear and he was getting lost in the kiss that he couldn’t be bothered to stop to question him. It was a few moments later that Louis finally muttered what sounded like, “…Mhm?”   
  
“I said, is your mum okay with you being here?”   
  
“Probably not… I didn’t exactly leave the house on a good note.”  
  
“Really? What happened?” Harry shifted into a sitting position, causing Louis to fall to his side.   
  
“She just said some things that made me angry, and I let her hear about it.” Louis leaned back in for a kiss, but Harry gently pushed him away.  
  
“What did she say?” Harry was genuinely interested in what had happened.  
  
“She just said that she ‘wanted what was best for me.’ It made me angry, because how is she supposed to know what is best for me? She has no idea what I’ve been through, or how things are now.” Louis could feel the same anger he felt earlier.   
  
“She is your mum.” Harry said simply.  
  
“Harry Styles. Big, tough, mean Harry Styles. Are you a mummy’s boy?” Louis giggled as he pushed him back on his pillow and straddled him.   
  
“What? No, I just-”  
  
“Yes you are. So cute!”  Louis pinched at Harry’s dimples. Harry smiled widely at the attention, blushing as he looked away.   
  
Louis went for Harry’s neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin there. Harry giggled uncontrollably as he hiked his shoulders.   
  
“Mummy’s boy, Harry Styles.” Louis teased as he tickled Harry’s sides and beneath his shirt.   
  
“No!” Harry screeched out, unable to breathe evenly.  
  
“Payback’s a bitch.” Louis said, referring to the last time they were in bed together.   
  
Harry couldn’t help the feeling of euphoria that Louis also had that memory locked away. Harry shook the feeling and replaced it with determination, the important matter at hand was Harry’s position of dominance. He easily flipped Louis on his back and resumed Louis’ former position.   
  
“Okay, okay! I give!” Louis laughed out.  
  
“Good.” Harry said as he collapsed onto Louis’ chest.  
  
“You’re still a mummy’s boy.” Louis said as he began playing with Harry’s hair.   
  
“Shut up.” Harry mumbled out. He always felt sleepy when Louis played with his hair.   
  
“I love you.” Louis breathed.  
  
“I love you, too.” Harry replied. “I wrote a song for you.”  
  
“Oh god, no you didn’t.” Louis said with apprehension.  
  
“Yeah, no, I didn’t.” Harry let out a laugh. “That would have been romantic though, right?”  
  
“Totally.” Louis smiled as he continued to sift his fingers through Harry’s curls.   
  
Harry was the first to fall asleep, and Louis giggled at his snores. He let his lids slide to a close as he held Harry in his arms.   
  
~~  
  
They walked to school the next day hand in hand, still recovering from their morning shower together. They disregarded the stares from others as they made their way to chemistry. Harry leaned over and whispered something into Louis’ ear, causing him to burst out into laughter.   
  
Eleanor was unable to hide the shock on her face as they walked into class together. She looked down at her textbook and pretended to read a paragraph on catalysts. Harry couldn’t help the feeling of superiority over her.   
  
Harry and Louis sat next to each other in class for the first and last time that day, considering it was Louis’ last day at that school.   
  
~~  
  
Zayn walked up to Liam, a cocky smile on his face.  
  
“Hey, there.” He said quietly, yet sensually.   
  
“Oh.” Liam said after a moment. He had been lost in a dreamworld of pale skin and blonde hair.  
  
“So, I was thinking maybe I could come over after college today and maybe we could-”  
  
“Can’t.” Liam cut him off.  
  
“Why not? I thought that-”  
  
“Sorry, Niall is coming over.” Liam pulled a book out of his locker.  
  
“That’s not a problem, maybe we could-”  
  
“No, it is a problem.” Liam said abruptly. “You can’t come over. Niall is coming over.”  
  
Zayn’s eyes suddenly flickered with intuition as what Liam said settled in.  
  
“But I thought-”  
  
“Well, you thought wrong. The whole threesome thing is over, Zayn.” Liam stared into his locker.  
  
“I see… So you and him, then?”   
  
“Me and him.” Liam smiled as he shut his locker and leaned over to kiss Zayn on the forehead. “Bye.”  
  
“Bye…” Zayn replied as Liam walked away to his first class.   
  
~~  
  
“I’ll sneak into your dorms.” Harry insisted as he watched Louis pack.  
  
“My roommate would totally appreciate that.”  
  
“I’ll make him.” Harry said. He was sitting on Louis’ bed.   
  
“Your violence is what got us here.” Louis reminded him. Harry looked dejectedly to the side. A shriveled up bouquet caught his gaze.  
  
“You kept them?” Harry asked.  
  
“What? Yeah, of course.” Louis blushed as he folded yet another striped shirt.  
  
“Why? They’re all shriveled and dead. I’ll throw them in the bin for you.”  
  
“No! Don’t do that, please!” Louis pleaded.  
  
“I can bring you flowers every day, boo.” Harry smiled as he pulled Louis onto his lap. Louis smiled in response as he pressed his lips to Harry’s inviting ones.   
  
“Louis, I need you to- oh.” Jay said as she opened the door. Harry tried to wiggle away from Louis, but Louis stayed put.  
  
“You need me to what, mum?”   
  
“I need you to be packed by seven.” She shut the door.   
  
Harry felt the sudden urgency to hold onto Louis and never let him go. He hugged him tightly. Louis was leaving him, and he wouldn’t see him until summer. He buried his face into Louis’ shoulder. Louis’ face remained calm as he stroked Harry’s curls.  
  
“I know, Hazza. I know.” Louis felt the sting of tears as he tried not to grossly sob.  “I have to finish packing, it’s almost seven.”   
  
Harry resentfully released him. He watched him pack, he watched every movement, every facial expression, every flick of the wrist. Louis was so perfect to him that words could hardly describe how he felt when he looked at him.   
  
“There, that just about does it.” Louis said as he zipped up his bag. “Oh man, I left my toothbrush at your house. Oh well, I’ll buy another.”  
  
Harry stood and walked over to Louis, wanting to hug him again.  
  
“Louis, it’s time to go.” Jay said as she opened the door yet again. Louis rolled his eyes, but his mother couldn’t see.  
  
“I’ll carry your bag for you.” Harry said as he lifted it up.   
  
He followed Louis and Jay to the car and placed the bag in the back. Jay got in the driver’s seat, leaving them alone, but watching them through the mirror.   
  
“So this is it, then.” Louis said as he crossed his arms and looked to the side.  
  
“I guess it is… But I’ll see you next summer.” Harry added hastily at the end, earning a smile from Louis.  
  
They embraced with intensity, their lips joining passionately. Louis definitely couldn’t fight the tears escaping this time; Harry could taste their saltiness.  
  
“Goodbye.” Harry said after they finally broke apart.  
  
“‘Later.” Louis replied as he wiped at his wet cheeks.   
  
“I love you.” Harry hugged him again.  
  
“I love you, too.”


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis likes Harry, but the feeling isn’t mutual… until Louis finds someone else. And Harry always gets what he wants.

Nothing was the same for Harry after those last few moments with Louis. Life was slow, and days dragged by. It was hard to even remember how he acted before his love for Louis. Harry had changed, and he couldn’t be happier. Of course, with Louis being gone things were difficult for him. He became easily annoyed whenever Liam and Niall started getting all couple-like around him, and he could feel the lonely settling in on him.

He had decided to spend most of his time focused on his studies. Without distraction, Harry found that he actually wasn’t too bad at science. He even enjoyed looking over Niall’s AP homework every once in awhile.

The only thing that Harry had to look forward to were his letters from Louis.

 

_Dear Harry,_

_So instead of doing emails or anything like that, I decided to go old school and send you a letter once a week. Hopefully you’ll write back._

_I miss you. Like, a lot. I wish you were here to make everything better. It’s not that it’s horrible here or anything. It just isn’t the same. Everything is different, I’m even treated different here. I guess my mum really did know what’s best for me. I_ am  _getting more respect here and all and that’s great, but I’d rather go through hell than get away from you._

_It’s not so bad I guess. I’ve met some really nice people. My roommate Stan is pretty cool. I thought he would be that one really awful person that everyone gets for a roommate but it isn’t like that at all. He’s a really good friend. You would love him._

_Write me soon! I love you._

_\- Lou xx_

 

_Dear Louis,_

_Traditional can be good, I guess. I just hope you can read my awful handwriting. I’m glad to hear you’re adjusting well to your new school. To be completely honest, I was hoping you’d explain to me about how wretched it is there, and that you’d come rushing home to me. x_

_Stan sounds alright, from your mild description. Maybe I can meet him one day?_

_Niall and Liam have become really attached lately, it’s kind of unsettling to the stomach. They’re constantly kissing or holding hands or something. So annoying._

_I miss you, Boo. I love you, I love you, I love you._

_-Haz_

 

_Dear Harry,_

_Your handwriting isn’t awful! It’s cute, much like yourself :)) You know I want to be there more than anything. Maybe I’ll save up for a plane ticket, who knows?_

_Oh yes, Stan. I’ve been talking about you lots and I’m not just saying that. I’m sure he’s tired of hearing about it but good thing he’s gay and can at least relate._

_Niall and Liam got together? Who knew! Shame I wasn’t there to see it all happen. Hearing that makes me jealous, I wish a certain someone was here to kiss me and hold my hand :(_

_I miss you, Hazzabear. (Don’t think I forgot about your nicknames!) I miss you so much. I think I’ll call you in a bit. I’d love to hear your voice. :)_

_\- Lou_

 

_Dear Louis,_

_Hearing your voice was definitely the highlight of my week. x_   
_Sorry, I couldn’t help but start talking dirty. I miss you so much, Boobear._

_Really? Niall said they only got together because of you, Lou. I forgot to ask about that in my last letter. They’re so sickeningly cute. Makes me wanna barf._

_Stan is gay, huh? Make sure he keeps his hands to himself (I kid, I kid). Is he single? Does he look interested in you? Sorry, I’m asking too much._

_Have you made any other friends? There’s a new girl that goes here that I befriended quickly. Her name is Cher, I think you’d like her loads. She’s quite the character, all sorts of ideas about life and such. I’m lucky she’s so patient, because all that’s ever on my mind is you._

_Louis, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I think of how you’re not here, I feel this emptiness that I can hardly describe. It’s as though I’m alone in a beautiful meadow, flowers are everywhere and it’s so outstandingly breathtaking. But I can’t reach out and touch the flowers, otherwise they might shrivel up and die._

_When I’m writing these letters, it distracts me from the fact that you’re not in the room with me. I’m just going to try and make this as long as possible. I’m eating cereal right now, about to leave for school in about an hour. It’s the kind with the grapenuts. Didn’t you like that kind, Boo?_

_I’d better get this in the post so that it will make it to you in a timely manner._

_I love you more than words could ever express._

_-Haz_

_Dear Harry,_

_I could certainly say the same. I love falling asleep to your voice, Harry. Why don’t we try to Skype sometime? It’s an instant messaging thing in case you didn’t know. Basically we can video chat and see each other, so it will be like we’re in the same room. You were talking dirty? I didn’t notice, sorry. I was lost in your voice ;) Videochatting is a good idea, it makes the prospect of phone sex much more exciting, don’t you agree?_

_I guess I can say I’m partially responsible for their relationship. I talked Niall into sorting things out with Liam at one point and I guess it just kind of happened._

_Yes, Stan is most definitely gay. It was so weird, I knew it the minute I saw him and knowing me, I was quick to question him. It’s safe to say that Stan is single as fuck but that doesn’t mean he’s coming onto me or anything hahaha. He’s far from interested, believe me. I showed him a picture of you and me together and let’s just say he wants us to “get married and have beautiful children together”. Stan’s a funny guy, I can tell you that. (I’m not against that, by the way.) You’re not asking too much, I like it when you get jealous. It’s cute. :)_

_Cher’s a pretty name. Is it pronounced like “share” or “chair”? I feel dumb for asking but I don’t believe I’ve met someone with that name. I bet she’s pretty, but not as pretty as me. I hope to meet her one day!_

_May I ask what made you so sappy all of a sudden? Were you watching a chick flick and found yourself questioning your existence again? (I kid, I kid ;))_

_Wow… Hearing you say that means a lot. I don’t even know what to say. I think I’ll just go into a corner and cry because wow. That’s… wow._

_I miss school so much. Well, kinda, not really. I really just miss seeing my friends. And you, of course. The grapenuts are the worst, are you kidding? :P_

_I love you more than the length of this letter. Try topping that (or me)_

_\- Lou_

_Dear Louis,_

_I guess I’ll have to look up what the hell a Skype is, then. You’ll probably get this letter after I’ve figured it out, so this is basically post-raging on how bad I am with technology._

_I’ll work on that tonight, I guess. And it’s pronounced “share.” She’s actually over right now, we’re probably going to catch a film or something._

_Hi, Louis! xx Harry has told me everything, I mean_ everything _about you! –Cher_

_Letting her write in pen probably wasn’t the best of ideas. Obviously I was kidding about the grapenuts, love. Sarcasm doesn’t translate well over pen and parchment, does it? x_

_I may have been watching Dear John before I wrote my last letter, but that doesn’t change the meaning behind my sudden stint in poetry._

_Children and marriage! Seems a bit sudden, but oh how I would enjoy nothing more than the thought of always being able to wake up next to your face (yes, much prettier than Cher’s) and the thought of taking care of little people that we could call our own. I’m already imagining the vows, Boo. x_

_Tell me more about Stan, he seems like such an interesting guy. Well, he must be if he can put up with you every day!_

_I walked in on Niall and Liam in a very_ very _intimate moment today… It was incredibly awkward, but extremely hot in a way. Niall won’t look me in the face anymore, and I find it hysterical._

_It made me miss you all the more, Boobear._

_I just want to be able to hold you, to touch you, to whisper in your ear that you’re mine. I want to be able to tickle that spot on your neck that causes you to go crazy. It’s hard for me not to be able to see your expression as you read these. Although your plethora of smileys definitely help me read your mood._

_I live for your letters. Everyday drags on like fucking quicksand. Being without you is literally killing me slowly. Only four months left until Summer! x_

_Oh, wow I have to go, Cher found my magazine collection and is giggling up a storm._

_Love you loads! x_

_-Haz_

_Dear Harry,_

_You aren’t that bad with technology, actually. Except that, you know, it took half an hour to get your webcam to work. That was interesting._

_Hi, Cher. Harry’s told me all about you too. Well, not really. But let’s just pretend for the sake of this conversation, okay?_

_We most definitely need to have a movie party together. And, like, soon. Four months doesn’t seem too long in retrospect, but to me it feels like forever. I guess good things take time._

_I’ll take that as a compliment! Stan’s a pretty cool guy, as I’ve said before. Today we went to Starbucks (reminded me of Eleanor, gross) and there was this guy that looked just like you, at least from behind. I was legitimately freaking out and me and Stan were just talking about the usual when this kid just walks past our table. I ran up to him and hugged him from behind, shouting, “Harry!” and then he turned around and looked at me like I was a child molester and well, it was embarrassing, okay. But yeah, Stan got me through it. We actually watched Dear John today, except we were mostly just sitting there and throwing popcorn at each other. It was fun cleaning it up. Oh, I slept in today. Didn’t feel like going to class. Stan skipped too. We drove across town, shouting compliments at random people with a blowhorn. It was quite exciting. Wish you had joined us._

_Sucks you had to witness that, I’m glad you found it hot though. Did you touch yourself afterwards? ;) Or better, did you think of me touching you?_

_Oh great. Now I’m horny and you’re not here to satisfy me. Ugh. And wow, thanks, Harry. Getting all sappy again. NOT HELPING._

_You’ll get through this, I promise. We’ll see each other soon, I can guarantee that._

_Love you more!_

_\- Lou_

_Dear Louis,_

_Sounds like you’ve been having fun, love. x_

_I wish I really had been that guy at Starbucks! Although, I may not have been able to restrain myself, I may have fucked you then and there. ;)_

_Your life over there sounds so interesting and fun! Mine is rather boring. Full of homework and studies mostly. I’ve gotten really good at science, even cracked at Niall’s AP Bio homework a few times._

_Cher says I’m too boring. She’s always trying to get me to go partying with her. I don’t know though, I enjoy staying at home in the silence, getting lost in my thoughts. All of which are about you, Boo._

_Four months is an eternity, are you kidding me? Just these past two have felt like years. I’m lost without you._

_Zayn came onto me the other day, it was incredibly awkward. I’m only telling you this because I have no reason to keep it a secret, considering I remained completely faithful to you. x_

_Funny thing is, now that I’ve come out as gay everyone treats me so much differently. I expected it, yes, but the way people look at me sometimes. Zayn is still in the closet, it seems. Sometimes he shoves me in the hallway, like I did to you. Funny, right? I liked the irony of it all, it was almost poetic. In a sense… I guess, wow that one really got away from me._

_Sometimes I find myself staring at a picture of you, etching the memory into my mind. I’m so afraid I’m going to forget your blue eyes… Or the way your lips curl up into that ever-so-slightly condescending smirk._

_I hope you don’t see the tear stains that sometimes soak these letters. Right now it feels as if a rainstorm has taken havoc on this delicate piece of parchment._

_I’m so ready for you to come home, Boo. I don’t even want to have sex with you anymore (well, yes I do) I just want to hold you. I just want to be able to show you my undying devotion. I miss the way you’d scrunch up your nose and tease me for being cheesy, or a “mummy’s boy.”_

_I’m sending a you a picture of me and Cher. She’s kissing me on the cheek, so you can see we’ve become quite close!_

_I love you so, so,_ so  _much. xxxxxxx_

_-Haz_

_Dear Harry,_

_Sorry I didn’t send you a letter last week. I’ve just been so busy with school and all. You understand, right?_

_Your life isn’t boring! I mean, hello, you have me. It doesn’t get any better than that ;) Cher seems nice and she’s pretty too! You should definitely take her up on that offer. Why not party every now and then? I can’t lie and say that I haven’t partied these past few weeks._

_Tell Zayn I’m going to kill him, okay? Nobody touches my man xx_

_Hopefully he comes out soon. Hiding isn’t fun, you and I both know that firsthand._

_Wow, Haz. I really want to hold you too. And hearing you say these things is making me really sad because I can’t. It’s not fair._

_I have to go, hopefully you’ll get a longer letter next time._

_I love you._

_\- Lou_

 

_Dear Louis,_

_No worries, Lou. I understand how busy things can get! Funny enough for you to say that, because I actually gave into Cher’s requests and went out with her. We had loads of fun. It was a right laugh. Niall and Liam tagged along. Cher is absolutely obsessed with those two, constantly gibbering about their perfect relationship. She calls them “niam” or something along those lines. She’s an interesting girl, that is definitely for sure._

_Yes, Zayn is still in the closet. I don’t get it, well I mean, I get it. He’s so brooding and sour about everything. I wish I knew why. Maybe someone broke his heart? I’m just not sure._

_I had a Harry Potter marathon with Cher yesterday. Is it weird that I spend so much time with her? It’s funny. We share a sort of love that I can’t quite describe. Definitely not even close to what I have with you, but there is something. She’s literally the best thing to happen to me since you left, Lou. In a way, I guess I am in love with her, just not in_ love,  _love with her._

_Seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days. Days until I see you again. How many are there now? Too many to count without making me sad again._

_My mum is very excited to meet you. She loves how every time she mentions your name, my face lights up with “infinite sunshine” as she says, haha. Whatever that means, right? x_

_I want to hear your voice again, but I’m not exactly sure when you’re available on Skype… Or when an appropriate time to call you even is. Could you please call me, love? I need to listen to that melodic voice of yours._

_Funny now that I think about it, how my love for you grows with each day we’re apart. I was afraid we’d fall distant from each other. My letters seem to get longer with each passing week. I just have so much love that I need to express for you, words can hardly describe how I feel._

_I feel like I’m living in an endless cocoon of loneliness without your touch._

_I’m sitting here contemplating how we met. Do you remember it as well as I do? You were sitting alone in the cafeteria. No one would sit with you or talk to you, because it was your first day. Man, how old were we? Nine or something, right? Anyway, I walked over to you and sat down. I think I made a comment about your clothing choice (but let’s be real, you were a bit ahead of everyone in the fashion world) and you made a sour face. Regardless of my rudeness, you still shared your Oreos with me. I knew then that you were an amazing person. Oreos had a big affect on me, I guess. You were so sweet and innocent back then, and oh so caring. Of course that all changed when I became a bully… I’m still endlessly sorry about that, did I mention?_

_I honestly don’t think I have apologized correctly for the horrible things I’ve done, have I? Louis, love, I am so sorry for ever having hurt you. You are the love of my life, and I never want a single hair on your head to go harmed._

_Sometimes I wonder if I’m too dramatic with these letters… Sorry, Boo._

_-Haz_

 

_Dear Louis,_

_I normally wouldn’t send you a letter without first receiving one, but it’s been nearly a month since I sent my last letter with no response. I was afraid maybe it got lost in the post or something, so here is a simple letter explaining my life as of late._

_I’ve spent most of my time simply missing you, but other than that I’ve started to get out a lot more. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m into the whole party scene, but people recognize me at that local club now. They mostly address me as “Cher’s friend,” but I still feel alright about it._

_I miss you horribly, Boo. Two months left, now. x_

_-Haz_

_Dear Harry,_

_Can I just start by saying how sorry I am? I’m really, really,_ really  _sorry. I won’t lie to you and say I haven’t received your letters because I have. I just haven’t exactly found the time to respond. I hope you understand._

_Only one month and two weeks until I come home :) I’m glad to hear you’re socializing more, that’s amazing. I hope Cher’s taking care of you._

_Once again, I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I hope you’ll forgive me._

_I’m going to call you in a bit, okay? Love you xx_

_\- Lou_

_Dear Louis,_

_I understand completely, love. x_

_I wish you could have stayed longer on the phone, I felt like it went way too fast. Not saying that I wasn’t happy to hear your voice for those few precious moments. Honestly, the beautiful squeaky pitch of your voice did quite the number on me, so perhaps the shorter was the better._

_Niall and Liam are still as happy as ever, ugh. I try to be happy for them, but all I can think of is how I miss you, so I guess I get pretty aggressive about things. Although, I refrain from my violent tendencies when I picture your face in my mind._

_I’m not sure if I said “I miss you” a million times that it would even begin to describe my longing for your presence. I just want to feel your warmth and sniff the breathtaking salty scent of your skin._

_I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you._

_Nope, still not enough. When I touch myself, you’re all that I think about. To be completely honest, you’re all that I think about all of the time._

_I regret those years we spent together, yet not together. So much time wasted, so much precious time. Time is literally all I have left for me now, dragging by at an achingly slow pace._

_Where was I when you were feeling bad, Louis? I was probably out with friends, being pigheaded and an all around douche._

_Where was I when you were happy, and needed someone to share your good news with? Not around, I was too afraid of saying something that would give me away._

_Because let’s be honest, Louis. I lied to myself for such a long time. My biggest fallacy was to none other than myself. Louis, I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. My pride was the biggest obstacle to overcome._

_Louis, you light up my world in a way I never knew possible. I used to catch myself staring at you and silently chastise myself for being such an idiot. I always felt so… so_ wrong _when I looked at you the way that I did. You were just so beautiful, and I couldn’t control my thoughts._

 _And then you came out to me… To_ me _of all people. And then my pride got in the way… again._

_Louis, I love you. And my pride will never take that from me again._

_xoxoxo_

_-Haz_

_Dear Harry,_

_I really hope this isn’t too late. I’m sorry._

_I was actually going to write back sooner, but your letter really caught me. I miss you so much, Harry. I feel like… I don’t even know how to explain. It feels like everything that happened before I came here was all a dream, a different life. And that’s sad to think because sometimes it feels like you’re not actually real, that you’re only a figment of my imagination telling me I haven’t lost my mind. But I know that can’t be true because I remember you perfectly, love, and I can’t wait to see you again._

_When did I start liking you? Hmm. I don’t really have the date, but it was an on-again, off-again thing for years. I guess I really started to like you after I came out. It was so weird when I did though. I know I acted like I was trying to embarrass you, but believe me. I was nervous as hell. I’m really glad everything worked out._

_School’s out in two weeks. Stan’s throwing a goodbye party for me, can you believe it? I can’t guarantee my mum will let me stay, but hey, at least I’m visiting? To be honest, I actually like it here. People are… nicer. I still miss you and Niall and Liam and Zayn, but… I don’t know. It’s different here._

_I think my plane leaves in the morning, so I’d better not party too hard that night. This is probably the last letter I’ll send before I see you. But who knows? Maybe I’ll call you after this like I usually do._

_I love you, Hazza. I can’t wait to see you._

_\- Lou_

 

_Dear Louis,_

_I’m honestly too excited to write an appropriate letter for you right now. I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about your arrival next week. You should get this letter before then, so I want to just express my excitement the best I can. I’m currently trying not to rip the paper with my frantic writing._

_I’ll see you soon, boo. x_

_-Haz_

 

Harry ran his fingers swiftly through his curls as he examined himself in the mirror. He straightened his shirt a few times, still not completely satisfied with the way it hung on his frame. He yanked it off and tossed it to the floor. He grabbed a blue button-up from his closet and tried it on. Harry sighed when he realized he’d never be as perfect as he wanted to be for Louis.

He checked his watch then quickly ran for the door, grabbing his jacket on the way. Louis’ flight was due to arrive in only two hours. He had propositioned his mom into letting him borrow her car, so he hopped in the driver’s seat. Sniffing in the new cologne he bought, he hoped it would impress Louis. Harry had thought up their plan for the day. It was mostly general, varying from hanging out with their other friends and then with each other. He felt a tug in his stomach, his heart racing simply at the thought of Louis. He was seeing his boyfriend for the first time in five months and was beyond thrilled.

Harry picked up Cher because she had begged to come with him. She was wearing a cute poofy black skirt with a vibrantly colored top.

“Hello, darling.” She smiled as she sat down in the passenger’s seat, elegantly crossing her legs and latching her seatbelt. She scrunched her nose. “What on earth is that stench?”

“It’s my cologne… Is it bad?” Harry immediately felt self-conscious as he put the car into gear and began to drive.

“Ugh. Might smell fine to others I suppose.”  She tapped a beat on the dashboard. “Is Niam going to be at the airport as well?”

“Liam said he’d try and drag Niall out of bed.” Harry laughed as he noted how Cher spoke of them as one person.

“So cute.” She mused. “So I finally get to meet the mystery beau.”

“In the flesh.” Harry smiled as he made a left turn.

“Ooh, I’m so excited.” Her voice trembled slightly as she stomped both of her feet quickly. “I think I’ll call you… Houis… No, that’s dumb. I’ll call you Larry. Yes, Larry.”

Harry laughed at her quirkiness. He couldn’t help but feel just as excited as Cher, if not more. He fed off of her energy, and his nerves shot through the roof.

“What if he’s different?” Harry wondered aloud. “It’s been five months… Who knows what could have happened to him.”

Harry looked over to see a concerned look on Cher’s face. She took in his words and considered them, and how entirely plausible they were. But Cher was ever the optimist, and she shined through in this moment.

“I highly doubt that, Hazza. You guys exchanged letters and talked all through the school year, right? What you two have is special, I mean come on! I want what you’ve got with him.” Cher patted Harry’s shoulder.

They had parked in the airport parking lot, and Harry looked over to see a sweet smile shining back at him. He leaned over and gave her a big hug, so happy that he had her in his life.

“Ready for this?” Harry let out a big breath.

~

“Harry, are you alright?” Liam asked as he watched the curly haired boy pace back and forth.

“I’m fine, just really nervous is all.” Harry ran a hand through his curls.

“You’ll be fine, mate.” Niall said from his place next to Liam. He was leaning against him, too lazy to support himself. Liam didn’t seem to mind.

Cher had already taken several pictures of the two, much to Niall’s disdain. Harry thought he heard him mumble “Why don’t I have normal friends?”

Cher was currently staring at her sneakers out of sheer boredom. “How far down is his flight on the list?” She asked with a dramatic sigh.

Harry walked over the screen that displayed the times, and came running back with a goofy grin.

“His flight is coming in a bit early, he’ll be here in about five minutes!”

Cher jumped up and spun around, grabbing Harry’s hands to dance with him. Harry looked around, expecting to see Jay somewhere. He was surprised when he saw no sign of her or any of Louis’ sisters.

“Let’s go closer to the passenger drop off.” Harry said as he held onto Cher’s hand and lead her further into the terminal. Niall groaned as he dragged himself to his feet, much to Liam’s amusement. He grabbed Niall by the waist and pulled him back onto his lap.

“We can stay back here. This is a Louis and Harry moment, Cher is just there to take pictures.” Liam explained and he pecked Niall’s inviting lips.

“What a Kodak moment, and Cher wasn’t even around to document it at a million different angles.” Niall laughed and snuggled into Liam’s neck.

Harry breathed in and out to calm his nerves as the first few passengers began to trickle through. He scanned through the crowd for feathered hair and blue eyes. Cher was almost hopping up and down with jubilation.

Harry’s eyes found bright blue ones, and suddenly every worry or fear he ever encountered were washed away. They simply stared at each other for a few blissful moments, taking the other in. They both started for each other at the same time. When they touched it felt as though everything were in slow motion, and they felt it only in segments. Their hands touched first, followed by their forearms, and then their chests nearly slammed together. Harry buried his face into the crook of Louis’ neck, nearly melting in it. He drew away just enough to meet Louis’ eyes again, their arms still locked around the other.

Trying to hide their tears wasn’t even an option; the floodgates were opened, and there was no turning back. Their foreheads touched as they breathed in each other’s presence. They were only able to keep their lips apart for so long, and suddenly they were smashed together. It had been five months, and they were starved for each other.

Cher was gleefully snapping candids on the sidelines, not wanting to interrupt the moment with introductions right then. Harry broke away from the kiss and placed his lips next to Louis’ ear.

“I missed you.” He whispered softly. Louis choked on a sob as it was his turn to bury his face into Harry’s shirt.

“I love you.” They said in unison, and they laughed at how cheesy their reuniting had been.

“Cher?” Louis said as he looked over to her, still wrapped up in Harry. “You’re much prettier in person, I must say.”

“Stop it, you’ll make me want to steal you from Harry.” Cher giggled.

“As if that were possible.” Harry scoffed, his lips gazing Louis’ cheek.

“Right!” Louis gently pushed Harry away in order to start walking, suddenly tired of their surroundings.

“Here, let me take that, Boobear.” Harry grabbed the dufflebag that Louis was carrying.

“Thank you.” Louis latched onto Harry’s arm and looked up to see a lovely spectacle before him.

“I think he fell asleep.” Liam explained. Niall was slumbering peacefully against Liam’s chest. “He can literally sleep anywhere.”

Liam suggested that he drove, so that Harry and Louis could have more moments together. Harry wanted to protest considering his mother trusted Harry with her car, but he didn’t want to spend any more time away from Louis.

Louis let his eyes wander the second he stepped into the car. He laid his head against Harry’s, breathing in his smell beneath all that cologne. He missed this. He missing being with his lover and seeing him. It made him regret the time they spent apart.

The car ride was rather interesting with Liam and Niall fighting over which station to play on the radio, with Cher telling them to knock it off. Harry was leaning his head against Louis’, fighting the urge to wrap himself around the boy, something he’d been aching to do for so long.

“You can stop here,” Louis said moments later, Harry’s head perking up to see the familiar building up ahead.

“What are we doing at school? It’s summer,” he pointed out, but forgot what he was saying when Louis’ hand was in front of him, waiting for him to grab it. Harry was pulled out of the car, waving goodbye to his friends before tightening his grasp on the other boy’s fingers.

“Why are we here?” He demanded again when they reached the front doors.

Louis wouldn’t answer him. He just kept smiling, grabbing a bobby pin from his pocket and latching it to the door. After a couple tries, the door was unlocked and the couple were walking into the building effortlessly.

Harry opened his mouth to ask again, but flinched when he felt fingertips grazing along his chin, sending chills throughout his body. He was slammed into the lockers a second later, Louis’ lips smashing into his forcefully. He kissed him back powerfully, finding it impossible to pull himself away. But, of course, why would he?

Louis pulled away first, wrapping his arms over the other boy, holding him close. Harry breathed deeply, finding it unbelievable that he was here, he was really here. All the months he’d spent wallowing in his misery, absolutely, fucking devastated out of his mind, self-pity and loneliness his only friends, made it worthwhile now that he was reunited with Louis.

He tightened his grip on the back of Louis’ collar, feeling the sudden urge to just pour his heart out. “I love you so much.”

“Harry.”

“Yeah?”

“I… have to tell you something.”

Harry backed away from Louis, his head hitting the lockers by accident. He swore silently to himself, pretending it didn’t hurt so much. Louis, of course, didn’t hesitate to pull him close and kiss him on the head, asking if he was okay over and over again.

Harry laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. What did you want to tell me?”

“You’re not gonna like it.” Louis said with a frown, his eyes narrowing to the ground.

Harry’s lively and happy-go-lucky mood sunk, leaving him wearing a serious expression. “Tell me.”

“Okay,” he said after sighing loudly. “I’m telling you this because I want us to be honest with each other.” Harry nodded approvingly, waiting for Louis to continue. “I fucked up, Harry.”

The curly-haired boy raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out if they were thinking the same thing. He could only stand there and pray that Louis hadn’t attempted suicide again. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he had.

“I don’t even know how it happened. One minute Stan was getting us drinks, the next…” Louis shook his head, unsure of how to continue. He knew this wasn’t going to go well, and he knew he was only going to make it worse. “I’m really sorry, Harry.”

“Wait.” Harry’s frown deepened as he put Louis’ words together. “You slept with him?”

“I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to maintain his composure. He was only able to keep up his facade for a matter of seconds before he felt his lungs constrict and his heart pound in his chest. His breathing grew ragged and his vision was starting to blur with the tears forming in his eyes.

“Harry,” Louis spoke softly. “Please say something.”

“I…” he began but couldn’t keep his mouth from trembling to even finish what he was saying. Inside, his world was falling apart piece by piece. Louis’ words were hanging in the air, repeating themselves over and over again until Harry couldn’t think straight.

He managed to compose himself after a bit, finding it easier to speak when he wasn’t looking at Louis. Harry sniffed, trying not to sound like he was going to burst any second. “Was it… good?”

Louis sighed, his voice trembling as well. “I don’t remember. I was too intoxicated to know it was even happening.” He let out another sigh, setting his arm over Harry’s. “Please don’t feel you need to hold yourself back from yelling. This was all my fault. I deserve it.”

Harry reached out to touch the other boy’s face, but dropped it and looked to the side. He blinked away the angry tears, but he wasn’t really even angry. He was incredibly hurt, and felt betrayed.

“I waited for you.”

“Harry, I-”

“I  _waited_  for  _so long._  I waited for you, for your letters, maybe for a call. I  _waited_  for any sign that you were still out there.” Harry’s breaths were still coming hard. “I knew you were busy, and I accepted that. But no-” His voice broke up in a sob, and he brought his hand to his mouth.

“Haz, please.” Louis grabbed Harry’s face, searching the green eyes for any sign of redemption. But all Loui could find in the deep green pools was drowning sorrow. Harry pulled away from Louis. It was a gentle pull, not a jerk like Louis had expected.

“Why did you bring us here?” Harry asked, wiping away at the wetness beneath his eyes.

“I just thought… Because of your letter, I thought that maybe this would be the best place for… forgiveness.” Louis explained. “For me to forgive you… Because I do, Harry. I really, really do. Now, I’m the one in the wrong.”

Harry laughed without humor at the irony. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach when his eyes caught hold of a locker with a dent in it. He grazed the spot with his fingertips, replaying the scene in his head from how it had gotten there.

_“I love him, Eleanor.”_

Harry raised his eyes to meet the other boy’s. They were full of the tears that were betraying his solemn face. Louis looked away, it was so hard for him to look Harry in the face. Louis wouldn’t be surprised if he had lost him forever. He felt a hollow numbness take over him at the thought.

Louis felt a sudden warmth on his chin as fingers pulled his head in their direction, forcing him to look into Harry’s eyes. They were both so full of hurt, remembering all the past pains they’d caused each other and how they wished they could erase it all. If only they could go back to the lunch table where they’d shared Oreos and nothing else mattered.

“Ha-” Louis wasn’t able to finish what he said before fervid lips smashed into his. In that moment they poured out every apprehension they’d ever had in each other’s presence, every past regret was gone and this moment was all that mattered.

“I love you.” They said in unison when their lips parted, in a similar fashion from the airport. They laughed together, their sides still hurting from sudden mood swings. Louis looked to the side, still feeling ashamed. Rightly so.

“Look at me, Boo.” Harry whispered.

Louis looked up, peeking through his falling fringe. Harry gently swept it away.

“I meant every word I said in my letters, Louis. I don’t think I’d ever be able to take them back, even if I tried.”

“But I-”

“Sure, I’m not going to trust you… For a while,” Harry reassured him after a long pause. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“I understand if you want your space.” Louis began to step away but suddenly found himself wrapped up in Harry.

“Why would I want you to go away after I’ve spent so long without you?”

“I’m really sorry,” he found himself apologizing again, as if he had to say it again and again to prove himself to Harry. “I wish this didn’t happen. I’m such a terrible person and I don’t deserve to have someone as great as you.”

“Just stop.” Harry said, and he pressed his lips against Louis’ one more time, finally feeling a smile form on the other boy’s face. Louis laughed in his arms, remembering what was important. Harry was here, and they were together.

Hand in hand, they strolled down the familiar halls, reminiscing the good and the bad, everything they’ve dealt with to get where they are now.

And somehow, they both got what they wanted.


End file.
